[As an esteemed apprentice - or, well... an apprentice, at any rate - Kaphlar has the unique privilege of already being safely within the castle's inner gates, which is the only upside he has ever found to three straight hours of polishing knobs. He did consider sneaking out for a brief moment - because fundamentally, he can't see much difference between a "slut virus" and a good orgy - but in the end, he decided against it. He has standards, after all, and...

... Well, never mind the other reason. It doesn't matter. It matters so little, in fact, that Kaph has now chosen to forcibly drive the thought away by bantering with a random guard nearby.]

These people, am I right? [He nudges the guard with an amused grin.] They spend their entire lives in Slutsville and then they turn around and start crying about how much they don't want to fuck! I'd like to see them spend a day anywhere else, see how long it takes until they start begging to see a titty.

[The guard doesn't seem to acknowledge him - for the most part, he's just... vibrating - but Kaph continues regardless.]

Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm just talking about the little people out there, not the Mistress or any of her esteemed guards. I get it, you guys just have better things to do - or people, heh, you know what I mean...

[Slowly, the guard turns and gives him a feverish look.

Kaphlar glances down for no particular reason other than that he has just suddenly remembered how clichés work.

Ayup, that's a boner. Ayup, that's an outstretched arm reaching for him--]

Wellllllll fuckity-bye!

[And that's his cue to run the hell off. But where CAN he go? And should he like... tell someone the virus is already inside the castle? Eh.]