[OPEN] everything is terrible

[alphinerd]

Who: Alphinaud and YOU!
What: Alphinaud is out and about exploring his new surroundings.
When: Some early September afternoon
Where: The village
Warnings: SPOILERS FOR STORMBLOOD and also for Aymeric's junk, you have been warned

[What little Alphinaud had seen of the castle certainly seemed... impressive might be a word for it, though that spoke a bit too much of appreciation for his liking. Intimidating might be the better word usage, considering that in the bell or two he'd spent walking around trying to adjust to that setting, he'd seen far more phalluses than he'd truly been prepared for, even with his limited knowledge of the place. He'd been shown to his quarters, had sorted through the wardrobe - mostly full of things he had no desire to put on his person - and after his brief look-about, he'd had enough of decidedly lewd things for the day.

Thus, he had headed out into the village, in hopes that there might be a bit less blatant pornography, and a few friendly faces besides. Hopefully not too friendly, of course, but anyone willing to talk about something that wasn't related to intercourse would be a godsend.

Of course, he wouldn't be so lucky with the blatant pornography. Not when the fountain in the square has a statue of the Mistress bathing, of all things, upon it. Which leaves him - quite literally - running into someone when he's unable to tear his eyes away.]

Oh! My apologies, I didn't--

Comments

[crimsonlight]

[Yenh reached her hand out to stop him from running into her, but missed, and thus the bump happens—but at least she's poised to awkwardly grab his shoulder. She stares him in hopeful disbelief, ears perking forward.]

Alphinaud?

[alphinerd]

[The voice isn't familiar, nor is the face, but the features sure are. A Miqo'te, here...? And one that knows his name, no less. Not completely out of the question, all things considered, so perhaps she has been somehow involved in their dealings with Ala Mhigo...?]

Ah, yes? I'm sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going... Are you alright?

[crimsonlight]

[She bites her lip. Of course... just as with Aymeric and Estinien. She feels a too-familiar pang in her chest, but with practiced ease, she pushes it away. It's not a surprise. It's silly for it to hurt.]

[A smile sweeps across her face. At least, hopefully, she can convince him the same way she did with her other two Elezen friends.]

Yes, of course.

Tell me, who is the Warrior of Light? Name, race... gender...?

[alphinerd]

[An easy question, and Alphinaud's lips widen into a smile.]

Considering all we've been through, I should say that...

[But he let his words trail off, smile slipping in lieu of a confused frown. What... did the Warrior of Light look like? He should so easily be able to recall a face, a name, anything, and yet his mind is drawing a complete blank. It's not at all right - he can remember faces in startling detail.]

... I... cannot seem to remember.

[crimsonlight]

[Yenh nods, relieved. Realizing she still had a hand on his shoulder, she removes it with a slightly too-awkward jerk.]

As I thought. It's alright; it seems to be what happens with those who should remember me.

[And, without pausing, she pats herself on the chest and gives him a friendly smile.] Go on! Ask me anything that only the Warrior of Light would know.

[alphinerd]

[It's still considerably shaking, that he would forget everything about someone so important as the Warrior of Light, but having a diversion of thought ends up being for the best. He considers for a moment, thinking back on their many adventures.]

... when we sat around the fire in the Churning Mists, who else was present, and what did I speak of?

[crimsonlight]

[Easy enough to recall. She closes her eyes as the memories come back to her- a time when they had hoped that Hraesvelgr could end the war. And ironically, in the end, he did—but not at that time. At that time, he was as disillusioned as his brother.]

Estinien and Ysayle. She made stew. You three spoke of your hubris. For you, it was for the Crystal Braves. For Estinien, it was Ishgard's failure to understand the truth of history, though he certainly was ready to slay Nidhogg nonetheless. And Ysayle spoke of her hypocrisy in allowing the innocent to die in pursuit of ending the war.

[She knows that's more than enough, but she wants to be sure he has no doubt in his mind. Yenh wouldn't be able to bear it if there was. Especially from him.]

[alphinerd]

[It was certainly more than enough, and still gave him no doubt that this was, indeed, the Warrior of Light standing before him. Whatever magicks had been wrought upon the populace after the Calamity must have also struck him, for him to have forgotten a person so important.

He laughs softly into the side of his hand, shaking his head. Truly a mystery, and one that he felt ever regretful for.]

You are certainly who you claim to be, then. ... my apologies for not remembering. I am not quite sure what has happened, exactly, but I do still remember your deeds nonetheless. I would very much like for us to reacquaint ourselves, or rather, I with you. Starting with a name, perhaps?

[crimsonlight]

It's- alright. I already knew to expect it. [Loathe as she is to have to do this again and again. Not just for the repetition of it, or the heartache, but also the idea of everyone she knows turning up to sexcountry.]

[Especially this one.]

Yenh Quryoja. [So weird. She's known Alphinaud for longer than most in Eorzea, at least since she returned post-Calamity.]

Alphinaud, I know this is strangeness within strangeness, but humor me: what is the most recent major event that you remember?

[alphinerd]

Yenh Quryoja. It's a pleasure to, ah. Meet you again, I suppose?

[His smile is a bit awkward for a moment, but it evens out. He's really not sure how he could have forgotten, or how he couldn't have known some sort of spell was taking effect. ... then again, he wasn't sure how he came to be here, exactly, either.]

The last major event? [It takes no time to call up that memory - it felt like mere days ago.] We successfully liberated Ala Mhigo. You defeated Shinryu and... Zenos, too, in a sense, though the coward took matters into his own hand. Is this not your last memory, as well?

[crimsonlight]

[Ah, good. That's another bit of ground they share together. Feeling far more relaxed now, Yenh nods.]

It is!

But, er, you see— I've not only had my own temporal confusion, but Lord Aymeric and Estinien are here as well. Both recall different points of time.

[alphinerd]

[Unfortunately, the main point that gets through to Alphinaud... isn't that Estinien and Aymeric are seemingly from different timeline points.]

Wh-- Ser Aymeric is here? And Estinien?

[But his moment of surprise passes, and he shakes his head, bringing a hand to his chin in thought.]

Different points... How different, would you say?

[heiresy]

[There had been a flurry of movement in the moments leading up to the collision. A large, very fluffy, very squash-faced cat came bounding through the square. It ricocheted off the fountain, the statue, then across a canopy. A man, dressed in little, runs hot on the cat's chase.

Aymeric hadn't exactly been watching where he going. Shocked embarrassment courses through him as he slams into the body under his sight line. Was it a child? An animal? He catches the shoulders of whatever it is, turning his weight to shield them from hitting the ground. The sudden shift in position catches the side of his thong, pulling him fully out of it in a matter of milliseconds.

They land, Aymeric beneath him.] My apologies! I didn't see you down there ...Master Alphinaud?!

1/2

[alphinerd]

[The flurry of movement so suddenly leaves Alphinaud in a confused daze for a moment or two, and it doesn't even really register that he's fallen, let alone fallen on someone. But when he finally realizes that he's no longer upright and there is a soft-but-firm something beneath him that certainly isn't cobblestones, he looks down, and his eyes light up in recognition.]

Ser Aymeric! I--

2/2

[alphinerd]

[But his eyes move further down. And he realizes that Aymeric... Isn't exactly entirely covered. At all. In a very important place.

The tips of his ears flush red, about the same time his cheeks and neck follow suit, and he very quickly averts his eyes.]

Y-your--

[... that may have been a squeak.]

[heiresy]

[He knows his stupid garment well enough by now to know how finnicky it is. It would most certainly fall out of place again if he fixed it before standing. He gets up, lifting Alphinaud by his armpits to set his feet on the ground. He then unceremoniously tucks his cock back under the thin cloth. ...And pretends the best he can that none of that happened.]

Pray pardon my ... Unmannerly intrusion upon your person. My cat has decided to flee from the castle, and I need to get him back.

[He looks around, trying to spot him while also trying not to be rude here]

'Tis for his own good, though he hardly knows it.

When did you show up here?

[alphinerd]

[Though he's being hefted up, Alphinaud makes no complaint, too busy trying to shake off the flustered embarrassment to feel offended at all. As soon as his feet are flat on the ground again, he rubs his face, glancing away. Even if Aymeric is now covered, it doesn't change the fact that Aymeric is wearing very small underclothes and that, now that they are standing, Alphinaud may as well be eye level with that portion of his body, for all that it stood out.

He pointedly keeps his eyes angled up at Aymeric's face, forcing his train of thought on other business.]

Ah. You have a cat...? [He clears his throat.] Last night. I spent the night in the castle, and awoke this morning with the intent to apprentice. It certainly seems the better and more suitable of the options, though how much better is difficult to say...

[maledictus_semper]

Oh, I do beg your pardon!

[Ardyn felt the young man smack into him from behind. Was it too much to ask for a man to just go about his daily business without being knocked into by random strangers? Apparently not. Yet, this flighty young beast seemed rather terrified.]

Are you lost, my boy? You seem rather distracted.

[heiresy]

[Though he had mostly grown numb to the embarrassment over the course of several months, seeing a new and familiar face reignited it. He had never been so aware of how at crotch height he was before. What now seemed a polite distance seemed entirely too close. He takes a half step back so that Alphinaud doesn't need to crane his neck so much. ]

Aye, I have a cat. Doubtless he will return to me ere long, but I had feared something strange might befall him.

[He glances down his person, as if he's looking for signs of distress. He repeats it.] You spent a night in the castle. [He grimaces. ] Have you come away from the ordeal untouched?

You may find the apprenticeship frustrating, nay, infuriating in comparison to your previous studies. As far as I can understand it, the apprentices are little more than pets... At least you are permitted to wear clothing. [He crosses his arms, heaving a breath. He was very obviously in the guard attire, his own choice made.]

[dravanicide]

[Had Alphinaud been looking where he was going, then he might not have ran right into Estinien's backside. That is to say his ass. His bare ass. Because the guards are blessed with little more than a thong to cover their unmentionables.

At first, he lets out a gruff sound of annoyance, but the sound of Alphinaud's voice does cause concern, as Estinien whips around to face him--nigh smacking him with a part of his anatomy that's unfortunately at chin level with Alphinaud. The flimsy thong is likely better suited for a maiden, than a man, yet Estinien suffers it.]

Alphinaud...

[There's a flash of concern in his voice as he stares on at his faux-brother. That he would be brought here... was the Mistress punishing him further?]

You are untouched?

[alphinerd]

[It takes a good moment for Alphinaud to register just what Aymeric means by 'untouched'. Habit relays the definition as injured, but given a second to think, he realizes exactly what is meant. And the flush returns, though just to the tips of his ears.]

I-- N-no, I have not been... touched.

[His eyes glance away, as if searching for the missing cat, but really it's an effort to steady himself. He hadn't even thought of the possibility.]

... we shall see what happens, I suppose. I am not fit to be a guard, and I would rather keep close, as it were. [To keep an eye out, he means. Staying in the village is all well and good, but he would rather keep his enemies close. After a moment, he looks back up, pointedly ignoring the apparently mandatory uniform.] I assume guards stay in the castle as well?

[alphinerd]

[Horrified, moreso than terrified. Who would choose such a theme for decorating? It seems a bit much.]

Ah, y-yes, I... My apologies. I am still gaining my bearings here, and I was not exactly expecting to see a... statue such as this.

[alphinerd]

[That. That certainly is an ass. For a moment, that's all that takes precedence, and Alphinaud stumbles back a step. Which, thankfully, gets him well out of the way of the unfortunate near run-in with an even more unfortunate part of anatomy.]

I-I'm-- [But his eyes are moving up as he speaks, and the surprise hits him for a moment, killing his apology as it lay on his lips.] ... Estinien?

[He hasn't seen the dragoon since... well, since long before their departure to Gyr Abania. He shakes his head to clear it, which then serves double duty as a response to Estinien's question.]

No, I'm alright...

[dravanicide]

Aye.

[A confirmation, but it does not sound excited. He abhors being here, and even more that Alphinaud is here.]

We must needs hide you, ere the Mistress digs in her claws...

[In the next instance, Estinien is reaching out to grab Alphinaud, with the aim to carry him underarm, as he attempts to find somewhere safe to deposit the boy.

Perhaps Yenh's...]

[heiresy]

[He hadn't realized that he was literally holding his breath. ] Thank Halone. Of that much, I am relieved. I had never thought I might see you here. [Aymeric was now silently imagining all the things he had dealt with thus far being thrust upon the lordling.]

We do reside in the castle as well— in the lower floors' barracks. Our guard duties never have us watch anything particularly important, and our shifts are not overlong. Aye, a wise move Master Alphinaud. I saw fit, too, to stay close. It has thus afforded me little else but indignity, but I believe I am gaining some understanding. Pardon, I continually refer to a collective, I mean myself and Estinien.

[ He scans the area, brow furrowing. Where was that damned cat?] Like as not, he will be headed for the fishmonger.