[OPEN] everything is terrible

[alphinerd]

Who: Alphinaud and YOU!
What: Alphinaud is out and about exploring his new surroundings.
When: Some early September afternoon
Where: The village
Warnings: SPOILERS FOR STORMBLOOD and also for Aymeric's junk, you have been warned

[What little Alphinaud had seen of the castle certainly seemed... impressive might be a word for it, though that spoke a bit too much of appreciation for his liking. Intimidating might be the better word usage, considering that in the bell or two he'd spent walking around trying to adjust to that setting, he'd seen far more phalluses than he'd truly been prepared for, even with his limited knowledge of the place. He'd been shown to his quarters, had sorted through the wardrobe - mostly full of things he had no desire to put on his person - and after his brief look-about, he'd had enough of decidedly lewd things for the day.

Thus, he had headed out into the village, in hopes that there might be a bit less blatant pornography, and a few friendly faces besides. Hopefully not too friendly, of course, but anyone willing to talk about something that wasn't related to intercourse would be a godsend.

Of course, he wouldn't be so lucky with the blatant pornography. Not when the fountain in the square has a statue of the Mistress bathing, of all things, upon it. Which leaves him - quite literally - running into someone when he's unable to tear his eyes away.]

Oh! My apologies, I didn't--

Comments

[heiresy]

[Though he had mostly grown numb to the embarrassment over the course of several months, seeing a new and familiar face reignited it. He had never been so aware of how at crotch height he was before. What now seemed a polite distance seemed entirely too close. He takes a half step back so that Alphinaud doesn't need to crane his neck so much. ]

Aye, I have a cat. Doubtless he will return to me ere long, but I had feared something strange might befall him.

[He glances down his person, as if he's looking for signs of distress. He repeats it.] You spent a night in the castle. [He grimaces. ] Have you come away from the ordeal untouched?

You may find the apprenticeship frustrating, nay, infuriating in comparison to your previous studies. As far as I can understand it, the apprentices are little more than pets... At least you are permitted to wear clothing. [He crosses his arms, heaving a breath. He was very obviously in the guard attire, his own choice made.]

[alphinerd]

[It takes a good moment for Alphinaud to register just what Aymeric means by 'untouched'. Habit relays the definition as injured, but given a second to think, he realizes exactly what is meant. And the flush returns, though just to the tips of his ears.]

I-- N-no, I have not been... touched.

[His eyes glance away, as if searching for the missing cat, but really it's an effort to steady himself. He hadn't even thought of the possibility.]

... we shall see what happens, I suppose. I am not fit to be a guard, and I would rather keep close, as it were. [To keep an eye out, he means. Staying in the village is all well and good, but he would rather keep his enemies close. After a moment, he looks back up, pointedly ignoring the apparently mandatory uniform.] I assume guards stay in the castle as well?

[heiresy]

[He hadn't realized that he was literally holding his breath. ] Thank Halone. Of that much, I am relieved. I had never thought I might see you here. [Aymeric was now silently imagining all the things he had dealt with thus far being thrust upon the lordling.]

We do reside in the castle as well— in the lower floors' barracks. Our guard duties never have us watch anything particularly important, and our shifts are not overlong. Aye, a wise move Master Alphinaud. I saw fit, too, to stay close. It has thus afforded me little else but indignity, but I believe I am gaining some understanding. Pardon, I continually refer to a collective, I mean myself and Estinien.

[ He scans the area, brow furrowing. Where was that damned cat?] Like as not, he will be headed for the fishmonger.

[alphinerd]

[Alphinaud spares a laugh, though there isn't much humor in it.] I barely know where 'here' is, let alone all of what is going on. I only know that things tend to err on the side of particularly lewd...

[It's good, though, that they share the same thought on the matter. Staying close is a safe bet, particularly when under the guise of servitude. Aymeric says that apprentices may be no better than pets, but if he can learn anything, anything at all...

But then Estinien is mentioned, and his eyes light up.]

Ah, Estinien is also a guard? I suppose it is safe to stick together. Yenh told me that the both of you were here. [And then, he pauses.] ... Estinien is headed for the fishmonger?

[heiresy]

[he frowns. He barely knows where here is either. ] You would be right. Unrelentingly so.

He is also a guard. [With a nod that tries to communicate so much more than he has the room to say. They both knew Estinien.] Admirably he hasn't abandoned his post yet. [The general ambient shame gets to him, and he finds himself pulling his cape across his body, pinning it to his cowl. It drapes over his middle in a way that ends up suggesting that he is entirely without anything covering his lower half. ]

No, no. Lord Byron. He is predictable in his old age.

[alphinerd]

Truly? I am surprised.

[He figured that Estinien wouldn't have any particular desire to guard anything here. His duty at home was bound to vengeance, but if stripped of that... Though even then, Alphinaud didn't believe him to be incredibly obedient.

The return to modesty is appreciated, although Alphinaud already knows what lay beneath. Still, he keeps his eyes up, maintaining eye contact through their conversation.]

Ah. Lord Byron. [An odd name for a cat... but then, Alphinaud has never really had a pet. He glances off in the direction that Aymeric had looked, furrowing his brow.] Shall we look for him, then? I do not mind helping, and wandering about this place is likely much safer with someone else accompanying.

[heiresy]

Estinien finds his little ways to surprise me, even now. [Unfortunately, with his cape pinned up, his ass is left bare. There was no winning in this, but a butt was less intimate. So, he dealt with it. ]

Aye, 'twould put me at ease if we found him. [He places his hand on his sword hilt. ] I traded my dignity for my sword, and I intend to use it. You may rest easy with me, Alphinaud.

[alphinerd]

[That, Alphinaud can... somewhat more easily deal with. He will still, however, keep his eyes respectfully elsewhere. As much as he can, of course.]

I am glad that some of us are still able to defend ourselves. Would that I could still summon a carbuncle... [He sighs, rubbing his temple and motioning in the direction Aymeric had looked, as a silent 'After you?'] Hopefully we should not need it, but pray forgive me if I rely on your defenses.

[heiresy]

You needn't feel so. A knight lives to protect. Regardless, I have made an oath to the Warrior of Light to protect her in her time of weakness as well. This is simply how we must survive for now.

[All very high minded. But for now, their task was very simple. He stalks towards the fishmonger looking very, very silly. He gestures subtly with one hand to Alphinaud to stop and look. Their furry bastard of a culprit had his head in a crate, thankfully still unnoticed by the fishmonger. He sighs, realizing what he must do. He unclasps his cowl, utterly destroying the sliver of modesty he had. He throws his cape over Lord Byron, scrambling to cinch the cape into a bag.]

Grab the other corner! Quickly!

[alphinerd]

Then I shall leave my life in your capable hands. When necessary, of course.

[Alphinaud offers Aymeric a smile, and then they're off. It isn't far, it seems, and he can smell the fish over the general scent of squalor long before they actually arrive. But the image of a large, white cat hanging halfway into a crate of fish is amusing, at least, and as Aymeric moves in he has an idea of what he's planning to do.

At the call, Alphinaud swiftly moves up to the other side, grabbing the other corner of the cape and twisting it up to capture the little thief.]

Got it!

[heiresy]

[He pulls the thrashing, mrowling bundle against his chest, taking Alphinaud's corner as well. ]

Well done! We should take him back to the castle now. I have missed quite enough of my shift... Hopefully my punishment shan't be too harsh. [He grimaces. Too bad for staying on her good side, after all. He heaves a sigh.]

Do you drink, Master Alphinaud?

[alphinerd]

[For a moment, Alphinaud is concerned for the wellbeing of the cat, but... if Aymeric isn't worried, he shouldn't be, either.]

You are supposed to be on guard? [Leaving his post to chase after a cat and being punished for it doesn't seem worth it, in his eyes, but he supposed a pet would be different.]

I... could, yes. Not normally, but one every once in a while wouldn't hurt, I don't think. Why?

[heiresy]

Aye, and I haven't missed a shift yet... Hopefully my absence will go unnoticed.

[Its ok Alphinaud, this is far from the first time this has happened. That cat is alright. He pets and soothes the hissing sack, though little seems to be calming the beast. ]

The first nights are simpler to process in an elevated state, I find. Why, the first night after our arrival, Estinien and I nearly finished a barrel of ale ourselves. Truly, 'twas like a long forgotten night of our early days in the Temple Knights.

[alphinerd]

One can only hope... I am not yet familiar with how closely she keeps an eye on things.

[He crosses his arms, rubbing at one elbow in thought as he looks back the way they came.]

I suppose a glass may at least soothe my nerves a bit. Do you have any recommendations?

[heiresy]

I believe she cares very little about what we do, for the most part. [Again, that was a hopeful.]

I keep a few bottles by my bedside. [That sounds worse than it is, definitely] I can recommend any of them.

[He starts off towards their destination, glancing at clocks for some clue of how late he must be in his return. It likely didn't matter that much.]

[alphinerd]

[The impact of that is at least lessened by the fact that Alphinaud is aware that guards share quarters in barracks, so there is likely not much in the way of personal storage space. The thought of drinking around so many other people is only a slight bit intimidating.]

If you prefer privacy, the quarters I've been assigned are private enough, I should think. I would also like to discuss strategy for our situation, and doing so in the middle of a barracks might lend words to prying ears.

[heiresy]

If we are to talk strategy, that is likely for the best, then. We will rendezvous in half a bell. I will go to the apprentices' wing, and you can find me there anon.

[He stops, turning to Alphianud]

That is, if you can find them yourself. I know you have not been here long.

[The mrowling bag seems to have started to calm down.]

[alphinerd]

Worry not, I memorized my way from the apprentices' wing to the castle entrance on my way out.

[He lifts his hand with a smile, motioning with his finger. Photographic memory has its advantages.]

I will make my way back and wait for you, so you do not get lost searching for my quarters.