... If you know me as well as you say you do? Then you ought to know that if I had access to any sort of magic by now--

[... He would have aimed much higher, is what he nearly says, but he catches himself in time to realise that's a surefire way to ensure he never DOES get to learn magic. Shit, what now?]

I'd... have some kind of plan! I mean, there would be rhyme and reason to it, yeah? And I definitely would have made you look a lot better than this, Your Highness.

[That's not EXACTLY a lie. If he could transform the Mistress? Step one would be to give her tits, really.]