September Event: Creature Feature

[loveskulls]

And now, for something a little different.

The town crier, now a centaur, had a bit of fascinating news for all those who would gather round to hear him. And you will gather round, because he seems to be one of the only ones who knows what’s going on. Some moments after you drank water this day, you may have noticed a sudden shift in body parts. Perhaps you have horse legs, or wings, or a horse tail, or extra eyes, maybe too few eyes, or perhaps hooves— A lot of creatures are part horse, aren’t they?

The town crier does his duty and tells you the tale. As it happens, a wizard of local dubious renown was seen fleeing the town early this morning. Long time locals knew this to be a sign of terribleness to come. At the scene of the crime was a discarded bucket with a sludgey residue inside. This was initially nothing that caused alarm. There were many buckets of sludge around town. Yet when the investigations began, the Mistress quickly deduced that the sludge was a horrific transmogrification potion.

She has called all suspicious persons to her castle for questioning. Ordinarily, she would allow this to slide. If the people of her town want to make one another miserable, then they are at liberty to do so. But, this was personal.

Your much beloved Mistress was looking rather more furry than usual. From head-to-toe she was covered in long, silky, fur— much befitting for the most beautiful yeti in all the land.

Will you answer her call? Are you stuck in some predicament that does not allow you to attend? Or have you lost your legs entirely?

[[OOC: The ooc for this event is over here]]

Comments

The Mistress

[hornymistress]

[ If it weren't for where she sits, you may easily mistake her for a mountain-dwelling beast rather than the tyrant of the kingdom. Her fingers tap away at the arm of the throne while her personal guards and servants stand by, ever so clearly nervous. ]

Who. Did. THIS? [ She jabs that meaty finger toward her yeti face.

[ She points a finger into the crowd. At... you? ]

You. You look suspicious enough. Come up.

[alphinerd]

[Steps are, apparently, slippery, and Alphinaud has difficulty enough navigating on four legs on flat flooring, let alone stairs. In the end, it involves two guards hefting him up the stairs - with his ears and tail on alert the entire time - to get him up to where the Mistress is.

As soon as he has four hooves on solid ground, he straightens himself as much as possible, setting his jaw - not in an effort to look intimidating, but simply to look as serious as possible while one's back half is made of deer.]

Mistress.

[hornymistress]

[ The Mistress sighs in exasperation as he is finally properly placed for an audience. ]

[ She remains seated in an aggressive and aggressively sexual pose, but it would only look enticing to someone who is sexually interested in yetis. ]

I know who you are, so don't waste our time. Who did this?

[alphinerd]

[Thankfully, Alphinaud is not. But it makes it somewhat easier to give her eye contact, at least.]

All I have heard is that a strange wizard was seen absconding early this morning. I saw nothing out of the ordinary.

[ignisvulpes]

[Kaph steps forward. Perhaps to aid the Mistress's suspicions, he seems to have no problem walking on digitigrade legs. On the other hand... Those ears and the tail (tails?) that he has are not quite those he'd like to have. They're black, catlike, and, in his opinion, they make him look too much like an anime catboy, which might be good to pick up chicks elsewhere but it just looks SILLY here.]

You think I would have done this to myself, Your Highness?

[hornymistress]

[Well, Kaph, good thing you brought that attitude with you. She is really in no mood for it, but in her infinite grace, she holds back from immediately trying to throw a spell at him.]

I know a lot about you, "Kaphlar", but I don't know every single one of your little fetishes.

[ignisvulpes]

[He swears to god he will knock that attitude straight outta her yet. Just you wait, "Mistress". Just you WAIT.]

What I'm trying to say, Your Highness, [and God, the restraint it takes to keep himself from rolling his eyes] is that if I could do this, I would have just turned myself into a fox. Obviously.

[hauntpadour]

[Egon will come up, looking miserable and... slimy. He's making a mess of your hall, and he's also late. And he's very... very slowly making his way to the front of the crowd.]

Trust me, ma'am. I plan on maiming whoever did this.

[hornymistress]

[She snarls and jabs a big finger at him, apparently not caring if he ended up as something she'll inevitably make the apprentices clean up later.]

And I should just take you at your word?

[heiresy]

[Aymeric is almost surprised that she points him out. He had feared that she might view this as retribution of some sort for the boot licking from weeks ago. That's hardly on his mind at this point.

Between his big wooly sheep butt and his silly curvy horns, Aymeric has enough to worry about. His thong, which no longer fits around his hips, is nowhere to be seen. Aymeric's cape is pinned and folded up around his hips into a loin cloth styled skirt... He looks kind of like a satyr, save for the short curling tail.]

[He awkwardly moves into a one kneed kneel. It is more than obvious that he should try not to piss her off like this.]

Mistress, I did not do this, I swear on it. Pray consider: Don't you think that it would be far more suspicious if I had avoided the malady?

[hornymistress]

[The Mistress heaves out a sigh and curls her lip back from her big ol' yeti teeth. They are impeccably clean.]

Which is exactly what the guilty party would say and do to prove their own innocence.

[heiresy]

[He sighs.] Perhaps, yet this is clearly magic of frivolity. While miserable, we are all uninjured. What is more, I am no mage, and I have no reason to make mine own clothing unwearable merely to spite you.

[He gestures to his cape playing double duty as a skirt.]

My life is made no easier by irritating you.

[alphinerd]

[The morning had been interesting, to say the least. It had started out simple enough, with Alphinaud waking and going to wash his face. He'd taken a small sip of water as he did so, as he typically did to rinse the taste of sleep from his mouth, but he had hardly set the cup back on the table when suddenly the room was all wobbly, and he found himself on the ground.

With the back end of a deer. The entire back end: four legs and fluffy tail and all, his torso from the waist up erupting from where the neck should be. His ears were considerably fuzzier and more prone to flicking this way and that; small nubs of horns protruded from his head, two prongs apiece, but no blood. No blood, no pain, just strict bewilderment.

Getting up off of the floor had been even more interesting, but he wasn't keen on discussing that.

Keeping the top of a set of more modest robes - for the bottoms of anything no longer seemed to fit - Alphinaud set out to try to find someone, anyone, to see if this had only happened to him. Of course, in the process, he'd been abducted by guards with the order to report for questioning, but at least with their assistance, he'd been able to walk on the seemingly slippery stone floors.

Milling about in the meantime, Alphinaud is trying to get the hang of walking on four legs and keeping his balance on non-carpeted surfaces, all while his ears are constantly lifting and swiveling at the slightest of sounds.]

[meteorman]

[You know what's a great sound? The plap plap plap of big old amphibian feet on cool stone. Alphinaud is not the only person who's found himself with a new set of legs, nor is he the only person who's been gently but firmly herded into the castle.]

Be careful not to lean your upper body forward too much. That may be contributing to your balance issues.

[Yeah. He can tell. Ford, by contrast, seems to have adjusted wonderfully to his new pink lower body. Possibly it has something to do with the fact that his new legs are stout and sturdy instead of long and spindly, so he has less of a delicate balancing act to maintain.]

[alphinerd]

[... that is an interesting sound, and Alphinaud's ears perk up sharply in alarm. At least, until he realized that it isn't a threat. His entire body relaxes, and he gives the man that appears to have been transformed into some manner of wavekin a considering look.]

Ah, is that so?

[He tries it, straightening his spine and focusing on holding his posture. It definitely sets his balance a bit better, though it will still take some practice.]

Thank you for the advice. I shall keep this in mind.

[meteorman]

I take it you've never been quadrupedal before.

[Like that's a thing that many people have experience with.]

It's a matter of weight distribution. Once you're able to intuit where to position your legs to keep your center of balance under you, you'll do fine.

[He has literally no practical experience with this outside of the past hour he's been half giant pink amphibian, he's just bullshitting because he's usually right about this stuff]

[ignisvulpes]

[Oh, this is great. He just got his voice back and now THIS happens.

Kaph has lost his pants, but not his legs; in fact, he has More Leg now. Not more legs, but more of the two legs he's used to having.

Which is to say, they changed shape and mass in such a way that he can't get any pants past his knees anymore, assuming his knees even still exist. He doesn't know. He's walked on legs much like these before, when he was still getting the hang of assuming a human form, but that doesn't mean he knows what they're built like.

Also, god damn if this doesn't feel like someone's taking the piss out of him. He could have got his real tails back; even just one of them would have been fine. But instead, here he is. A nekomata, right? He gets those mixed up with bakeneko all the time. Who even cares? It's insulting.

Maybe he feels that way more because of the pants problem than because of the animal parts he's got, but look. Look. He's just annoyed, okay? And that's plainly visible in the way his forked tail lashes from side to side as he walks through the castle and the town, investigating.]

Got any leads on the shithead who did this yet?

[In a sense.]

[hauntpadour]

None yet.

[He isn't even in the mood to sass you, Kaph. You look like someone's kinky OC. In fact, Egon looks like a kinky OC. They're in hell.]

I'm going to maim the culprit, though.

[ignisvulpes]

Suuure you a--

[That's when Kaph has a good look at Egon. Like, a REALLY good look.]

What the fuck even are you?

Egon Spengler

[hauntpadour]

Oh, god.

Oh god.

It took a little while for things to set in, but Egon is in fact in Hell. You cannot convince him otherwise.

The doctor- now having decided that he is on hiatus- has turned into a slime dragon. He drank some water with breakfast, and found himself melting into the floor soon after. The only truly solid thing left on his body was large, protective candy cane snail shell. His long, gooey body is muted teal, with cool pink highlights and a handful of bright yellow tentacles in place of his hair and... there's an anemone of them one his enormous tail.

And he's big, oh god he's so big. While the slime dragon still has a human face, arms, and relatively humanoid chest, he's still seventeen feet long and has slimy little horns that look like pink rabbit ears. After a life with slimer, he is... not happy.

At all.

Egon is leaving a gross, slippery trail behind him wherever he moves, and that's frustratingly slowly. Sorry if you fall on it. He's just muttering poisonously to himself, circling the fountain and side streets. The culprit has to return to the scene of the crime. If you look even remotely suspicious, he's pointing you out.

"What do you know about this mutation business?"

[meteorman]

[Ford isn't exactly pleased with being herded into the Mistress's castle. He's a lot more interested in documenting all the quirks of his new form than he's interested in fixing it, so he doesn't see much reason for him to be here. That is, until he realizes that once she's done interrogating them he's free to snoop around. Not encouraged to, no, but if he happens to walk down the wrong hall on the way out and wander deeper into the place instead... well. He's been to jail in several different realities; if he gets in trouble for this he's confident he can handle it.

Not that he's finding much, because most of the doors he tries tend to open onto scenes of baffling but wholly benign debauchery. Even the rooms that don't contain any writhing bodies don't tell him anything he doesn't already know about this place. In fact he's done more hiding from guards than he has actual investigation -- he spots another pair of them coming down the hall and hastily opens the nearest door, herding his longer-than-usual body into the room without actually checking what else might be in it. That'll go fine, definitely.]

[moonshined]

[For his part, Remus is a lot less calm and collected about this whole animal business. It's like taking animal-based Polyjuice and getting Splinched all in one go, except now he's just some sort of demented, sheep-based Centaur, and the irony of that is not at all lost on him. But most of all, he's having a small panic because A, he does not know how to undo this, and B, he's terrified he might have lost his bits in the process of changing over. And being laid out the way he is, he's not really sure of the best way to go about that, because he's got two too many limbs and not much semblance of a bottom that works like a human's would.

Which is why, when Ford bursts into his quarters, he'll find Remus Lupin on the middle of the rug, flat on his woolly back, trying desperately to bend forward enough that he can inspect that on Earth is going down in between his back legs. It takes him just a moment to register exactly what's going on—there's a stranger in his room and he's in an incredibly compromising position—and then he's flailing, panicked, trying to get back into a more normal position.]

So—so sorry, I just, got stuck, a bit.....

[meteorman]

[Oh my god

It might have taken a normal man a couple of seconds to put together exactly what he was seeing, but Ford is not a normal man and he's used to assessing situations very quickly (though not always correctly). There are a couple of different possible explanations for what he just walked in on, and he's not sure which of them he ought to react to because for fuck's sake he can't read people and he doesn't know which is the most probable.]

Stuck. I'd wager those legs are new?

[That's going around lately, huh?

He does not, by the way, apologize at all for barging into someone else's private quarters without permission.]

leaps in here a whole month late

[hauntpadour]

[Egon is mostly here to demand that someone fix something, and to catalog exactly who all has changed. The melty, seventeen-foot slime dragon is also here to, unintentionally, make a mess.]

[He's not particularly attractive in this form, but who the hell even knows what Ford is into. He's just grossed out by his own form and stopped to take a break out of the way of most people because it took him like five minutes to get down one hall.]

[And now the nudibranch dragon man is staring at an axolotl man who has burst into the room.]

...Can I help you?

[boldlybackwards]

[Cain had considered remaining in the barracks hiding under a pile of blankets, but it wasn't as though he was the only one currently struggling with such a horrible curse. So with a great summoning of fortitude (and maybe some cajoling from his fellow monstrous guards), he makes his way awkwardly down the stairs to enter the main area of the castle... sometime near the end of the Mistress' questioning. Perfect for anyone leaving to catch a certain naga-shaped man slithering awkwardly around wearing only the top half of a guard uniform.]

[He on his way to find something to eat, in a vain attempt at normalcy before his shift begins. He feels as though he could swallow a whole chicken—an intrusive thought that utterly horrifies and disgusts him.]