The Harvest Faire: October Catch-All!

[loveskulls]

[ As the sun rises at the start of the month, a forest of colorful tents arises outside the city gates. It is not an enemy encampment, though, unless you hate fun. Then yes, it is an enemy encampment. Fun is assaulting the Kingdom in full force, as Harvest Faire fever sweeps across the nation. ]

[ You may join crowds of eager people on the initial days, or wait until the mania has died down to a more casual flow—but either way, there’s a lot to see and do at the faire. It all has to do with people trying to sell you on their religions by showing you their October Best in holidays, but the people of the Kingdom know that if they’re boring or too hard with their sales, no one will come back. So expect a fun, full immersion experience into this or that cult! Food, beverage, and substances will be provided, along with any props you may need to participate. ]

[ Or, I guess, find opportunities to get paid to be a carny, if money is more your speed than fun. ]

[ Cults are on a rotating schedule, so they won’t be the same every day, but eager acolytes will be glad to tell you when they’ll be back in the tent again, so you’ll be welcome to come back again. Maybe even bring a friend along with you? They’re often all smiles on the advertising side, no matter how macabre or dark their faith may be. ]

[ And hey, look, on some days, there’s empty tents... ]

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OOC Event Information | NPC Threads

Comments

[shieldofrohan]

[The flattest of all possible looks.]

And if that answered my question, I would not have asked it. What are the tests? [It's amazing how loud the "fool" on the end of that sentence can be, when she didn't actually say it.]

[ignisvulpes]

Oh, oh, oh - [He wags a finger, a devious grin spreading across his face.] Are you asking because you're interested in taking up the challenge? Because in that case, I'll tell you, no problem! Buuut challenges are binding and non-refundable.

[shieldofrohan]

Non-refundable?

[She narrows her eyes.]

Then you would charge for the privilege?

[ignisvulpes]

A nominal fee! Just a tiny little donation of one gold coin.

[shieldofrohan]

And for what gain? To sit in a high chair and make mockery of others, as you do?

[Yeah, she's still very tempted. Just to wipe the smug look off your face has got to be worth one coin, right?]

[ignisvulpes]

Why would I need any "gain", as you put it? [He laughs. It could be mistaken for good-natured if it weren't for the amused glint in his eyes.] I'm just taking part in the festivities and sharing a piece of my own culture, that's all.

[shieldofrohan]

...I have met you and shared words with you. That is proof enough to me that you lie.

[ignisvulpes]

Wow. [He brings a hand to his chest in mock offense.] I can't believe someone of your stature would make such a simple mistake in rhetorics! Don't you know you're not supposed to attack your opponent?

[shieldofrohan]

I know that an opponent is precisely who one ought to attack.

[what's a rhetoric tho]

[ignisvulpes]

Maybe in a sword fight... [He points with a grin.] But not in a word fight. Ha! Rap battles notwithstanding, of course.

[shieldofrohan]

[...Okay, what the actual fuck is he talking about?]

....Rap... battle?

[ignisvulpes]

[His grin gains the slightest tinge of self-satisfaction. If he has to make himself feel superior by confusing a woman from some sort of medieval fantasy land with the mention of something she obviously wouldn't know about, so be it.]

You could call it a poetry competition of sorts, I guess!

[shieldofrohan]

[A poetry competition... but trading insults? That makes sense, in that she can just about picture such a thing, but makes no sense in that she can't even start to think why that would be a thing.]

[She shakes her head sharply, irritated.]

No matter. I was not aware this was a war of words. I assumed you were merely doing as you ever do.

[ignisvulpes]

[Oho. He sees an opening.]

Oh, but a war of words is the perfect subject matter for a trial of wits, wouldn't you say? Of course, if you're not up to the challenge, I suppose there's nothing I can do about that...

[shieldofrohan]

[She knows he's trying to get a rise out of her, but that doesn't stop her from bristling at his words.]

[Digging in the purse at her belt, she pulls out a coin and tosses it towards him.]

Name your terms.

[ignisvulpes]

[He snatches the coin out of mid-air with the practiced ease of someone who's spent decades swindling people. Let's see... Best not start with a "competition" of "strength" with her. Even with the measures he's put in place, he can't discount the possibility that she'd beat him.

So, even if he has to improvise, perhaps the safest bet would be...]

Well, since I mentioned it, how about a rap battle? Defeat your opponent with rhymes! Seems fair to me.

[shieldofrohan]

[Well, she should have seen this coming. She's not a poet, and in any case, rhyming isn't nearly so important in her culture's poetry in the first place. This is a terrible challenge for her.]

[But she's damned if she'll back down now.]

[She squares her shoulder, and nods once.]

And who is to judge the victor? Not you, certainly.

[ignisvulpes]

Of course not! Here -

[With a gesture, a few of the robed men and women line up beside them.]

I'll even let you pick the judge.

[shieldofrohan]

Of your own people?

[Well, that's not exactly a subtle advantage to him. But she's not backing down, so she clears her throat, scrutinising the line of people.]

She will judge. [Pointing to a woman of about her own age.] If she wishes it.

[ignisvulpes]

Well, we can't just have some random guy off the street do it, now can we? [He snorts dismissively.

Meanwhile, the woman Éoywn has chosen bows. She looks sincerely honoured to have been chosen by one of the Mistress's people... but regardless of that, she still wants to get paid, and so of course she'll have to obey a few pre-established rules.

Kaphlar made quite sure to only get people who wouldn't consider the possibility of him running off with the money for a single moment, too. Pretty sweet deal, in his view.]

[shieldofrohan]

We might, and it might perhaps be the truer for it.

[But she isn't going to fight it. She'll probably lose, regardless of her skill, with one of his people judging, but it would be unseemly to make a fuss over it.]

[Instead, she just folds her arms back over her chest, staring him down.]

The rules?

[ignisvulpes]

[Kaph does a little handwave, just as dismissive as his snort. He's not doing anything wrong, so who cares?]

No holds barred. All that matters is utterly destroying your opponent with, as they say, "sick rhymes". That's sick as in really good, mind you.

[shieldofrohan]

[Sick. As in really good.]

[Her expression probably makes it pretty clear what Éowyn thinks of that turn of phrase, and it is decidedly not "sick".]

Then who will begin?

[ignisvulpes]

[Kaph seems to consider this for a moment.

And then he opens his mouth.]

Well, if you're not taking the initiative, then let me step in and - [he squiiints] - show you what a primitive p... prerogative you're trapped in!

[IT'S COOL. HE'S GOT THIS.]

Excuuuse me, princess, don't you accuuuse me of all that crap or [uhhhhh] anything... less!

[shieldofrohan]

[All right. That was fairly poor. And she comes from a culture with a strong poetic tradition, she's got to be able to beat that, right?]

[She takes a deep breath, and launches into it. Her tone is more "poet declaiming an epic lay" than "sick rap battle", but that's to be expected, right?]

Princess he names me, in poor poetry shames me,
Paling and puling, ailing spirit... [come on what rhymes with puling] ...seeks ruling,
Envy sickens him, the trickster tricking him...self
So aye, name me princess, thou shame to the shameless
I know it burns thee, the knowledge that turns thee
Rule thou wouldst claim, but misrule all thy fame
I need not accuse thee, thy screed truthful proves me
Fool in word, fool in deed, poor cur without creed
Rhyme, rhythm, or rule
Run thee ragged, poor fool.

[Hey, she's getting the hang of this.]