kingdomcomes | THE FUNWORM'S DOWNFALL

It’s a cool, crisp night when the village effectively casts their chosen Off-worlders into the deep end. They have been picked for their strength (although, given that they’re untested, you could probably say the villagers picked based on who looks like they’d do a good job) and their skill.

The Off-Worlders set off into the outskirts of the draining, ongoing festivities and find the Fun Camp just in front of the forests. They’ve managed to establish a sturdy, little living space within the week. Anyone would think they’re planning to be here for a long time. The tents are surrounded by high fences, erected while everyone was getting drunk and smashing pissers.

There are two entrances to the camp, both guarded by stern looking monks. Your task is to approach them and take them on by your ideal means necessary.

[OOC: Starters posted below are open to the four characters chosen for each role! NPCs will be threading out each interaction. Please contact the mods if you have any questions!]

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She shrugs.

"Dunno."

Listen, she's gonna do this shit, but that's not gonna stop her from fucking with him just a little. Especially if she wants to get what she came here for. She's laying the bait right now, and casually fidgets with her top just a little bit to make it all the more clear what she's after.

"Maybe you should give me some ideas. I like a man who takes charge."

"I, you—" He cuts off, looking a little dazed, like maybe he's got a case of whiplash. Which he does, along with a semi. Especially watching this girl fidget with her top like that...

"Uh. Well, y'know, I've always been into, ah—"

Hendrick glances around to make sure none of his fellow monks are lurking nearby, and then leans in close to whisper:

"Tittyfucking."

Holy fucking shit.

Of all the.

Christ.

She has to bite her lip to keep her expression remotely seductive, though her eyes very clearly veer off to the side for a second. Wasn't that kid with the hammer gonna go beat people up? He should just come over here and knock this guy over. I mean, dude has to be a virgin if he thinks tittyfucking is remotely enjoyable. She's livid, and her hair flares a bi-

Breath, Ember. This will all pay off soon enough.

Right. She leans forward. "Really, is that so?" She bites her lip, hushing her voice. "You want to fuck my tits."

Somewhere in the distance, music begins to play.

Honestly, Rudy can't believe he's gotten roped into doing this. Couldn't this have gone a better way, or at least couldn't he have found a lady monk or something? He's not proud of himself, but honestly, that's what the five or six (or was it seven?) ales he'd had before stumbling his way over to the tent was for. There might have been another one on the way as well, but that was just for luck. Regardless, he's late for the rendezvous, which he's sure he'll deal with later, but for now, he's just got to slather on the charm.

"Well hold on, now," Rudy raises a finger, casting a somewhat bleary gaze at the native clearly making moves on the girl... what was her name again..? "Bit forward, that. That any way t'talk to a lady, there? This one, especially? Hard working woman, you know. Worth every coin in your pockets, she is."

He places a hand on Ember's shoulder and smiles at her. It's not a bulletproof plan, but it's... something? She does look rather upset, but maybe with some luck, maybe they could manage to work together.

"Suppose a free sample might not hurt. Just a peek? If he wants the rest, I think it's fair t'ask him t'pay up, isn't it? Can't expect me best girl t'start givin' the goods out for free. Of course... Bein' a loyal, hard-workin' man yourself, wouldn't be good t'be seen slackin' off on the job now, would it? Can't imagine that'd go over very well..."

Ember, in those few seconds, utters three sentences in her head that she can't exactly blurt out. The first being "the fuck took you so long?" The second being "the fuck are you doing?" The third being "the fuck do you think I am?" She resists the urge to elbow Rudy in the gut, but again, this could mean she could be skipping the titfucking altogether.

Honestly, she's very okay with that possibility.

"Well, I guess." She smirks, playing along with him. "Honestly, I was just so eager."

Hendrick pauses mid-boner, eyes widening a little as the tall gentlemen steps up behind the ghost girl. Wait, what—

"Is this...some kinda setup?" He's so confused. Help him. He just came out to have a good time and he's honestly feeling so attacked right now. His face furrows in confusion.

"Hang on, hang on. You want me to pay you for sexual favors, and then you want me to also give you information?" Hendrick snorts. "No way. Forget about it."

Shit. Quick, Rudy, think of something! Everything's coming apart!

"Setup? You're lookin' at the wrong people for any sort of set up, mate." Rudy laughs and shrugs a shoulder, leaning an arm on Ember's shoulder and looking over at their mark.

"Well, suppose y'could pay in coin like everyone else. But y'know what, you're right. We do want somethin' from ya. Might be willin' t'waive the fee for ya if y'give it to us. Understand?" He gives his best smile. It's broad and quite playful. "You want somethin', we want somethin'. Only difference is if you don't give it to us, you'll get in trouble. We're offerin' t'at least reward ya with somethin' nice. You give us that password, yeah? We won't tattle, And this sweet thing'll let y'have somethin' nice."

Okay, so he's selling Ember up the river, but given the dire circumstances at the moment, hopefully it'll be worth it. "Y'don't, however, and we tell them other guards we saw 'round the other side what you've been up to. Two witnesses sayin' you're gettin' sexual favours from workin' women, yeah? Our word against yours... don't seem too nice in your favour, does it?"

You know, Rudy, threatening him might not be the best idea. She might have wanted to bash him on the head a couple of minutes ago for his stupid titfucking fetish, but then you waddled in here and things change. Ember has to audibly restrain herself, both when Rudy makes his dumb comments and when his dumb comments evolve into an even stupider plan. Perfect, just perfect.

The whole act doesn't give her much room to speak, besides. So Ember maintains her composure, listening to what Rudy has to say, careful not to punch him between the legs.

...Okay. Okay. That seems reasonable...right?

Truth be told, Hendrick actually can't be bothered to figure out whether or not it's reasonable right now. Really, what's the worst that could happen if he gives up the password? It's not like these two idiots are going to actually do any harm. The Fun God is basically invincible, unless you can figure out the right weapon to use.

He "hmmms" and then nods. "Alright. Alright, that seems fair. So, what does the password get me? A fuck? A blowjob?"

Mercifully, he seems to have forgotten about the tittyfucking.

THE FUNWORM'S DOWNFALL

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im so sorry

all around me are familiar faces. worn out places, worn out faces.

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