INTRO LOG ☆ WELCOME TO THE KINGDOM

[loveskulls]

☆DAY ONE | THE GRAND ENTRANCE☆

When you awaken after a nice, long, deep sleep (facilitated by some herbs burning in the fireplace, perhaps) you have made your choice. When you exit your room, you’ll see a signpost in the middle of the corridor that you didn’t notice before. There are three signs, all pointing in different directions, with the words “Apprentices”,”Guards” and “Etc” on their own sign.

Potential Apprentices will head towards the very hall they entered just last night. The Mistress isn’t here this time. In her place there is a table and a long, open scroll of parchment with the words “APPRENTICE CONTRACT” written at the very top and a small, near indiscernible paragraph of what looks to be legal jargon under it. The only other obviously readable words say “SIGN HERE”. A quill and ink lies next to the parchment for this very purpose. Whether you linger to read the entire thing before you sign or simply sign, it doesn’t matter. If you get cold feet, you can leave. If you sign, a soldier will push yet another tome into your hands.

The tome contains a short, congratulatory spiel about the honor of being an Apprentice and proceeds to go into great detail about duties that sound an awful lot like castle maintenance. There’s talk of polishing knobs, sweeping corridors, wiping windows and mopping up after orgies but very little is said about magic.

It advises you to check the notice boards in the library at least once a month to accomplish tasks and earn coins. In the back of the book is a map that marks the important locations within the castle (including the location of your lovely, new room) and a sparse map of the kingdom. Think scribbles with “forest goes here” scrawled over the top.

Potential guards head into the courtyard, where a table is set up and surrounded by a small group of current guards. The table has a banner pinned to it that reads “GUARD SIGN-UPS” and upon approaching the table, you will be asked to beat one of the current guards in hand to hand combat. When that has been accomplished, they will ask about your previous experience with protective services, your experience with weapons and offer you the job. If you fail, you’ll be turned away (you also run the risk of being laughed out of the courtyard without a chance to prove yourself).

Upon signing up, a guard will take you on a tour of the castle, walking you through the barracks, the halls, the corridors and a few of the short cuts. You will be given a map, a weapon and taken to a nurse to unlock one of your powers (if you have one). Of course, you are warned of the consequences of misusing any of these privileges. Death, torture and a life spent in a prison cell are distinct possibilities.

They urge you to check the notice boards frequently for odd jobs to complete for extra spending money and shadow you while you try on your shiny, new uniform and tour the castle. You’ll be shadowed for about a week on duty before the guards get bored and let you do your own thing.

Finally, the et cetera. The last lot. You take your pride, your clothes and whatever you can fit in your pockets and you march with purpose (probably) toward your designated route. Maybe you’re angry, maybe you’re expecting a fight, maybe you’re getting fired up and ready to fight off anyone who tries to stop you.

You’ll be disappointed.

The corridor leads you to a very normal looking door that just...opens. Amazing. You step out of the castle and into the mud. It was raining, after all. There’s a guard there, waiting to escort you into the village. It’s about a ten minute trudge through the mud, and they lead you past beautiful towers, decent cottages and toward some worn down, empty shacks. One of these lovely hovels is yours to keep, and there’s even a little bit of food there for you.

You won’t get told anything about jobs or notice boards by the guard. Once they’ve dropped you off, that’s all the guard is obligated to do.

Snooping around the village will find you a notice board with jobs posted on it and information about some sort of tri-weekly market is readily available. If you want a job you’ll have to canvas, just like the good old days. The good news is that despite Mistress’ tyranny, the economy is pretty good. Many taverns, inns, apothecaries and brothels are hiring.

☆DAY TWO | THE FESTIVAL OF THE FOOL☆
The Off-Worlders have arrived at an opportune time, this month. People in the village might notice a hustle and bustle around them. Poles are mounted, banners are raised, euphemisms are crafted and everyone seems to be getting ready for something.

You don’t need to ask what it is, at first, because the banners indicate that it it’s April Fools. A little late in the month for it, you might think, but the occasion is celebrated for almost an entire month in this little Kingdom. After all, the Mistress does dearly love an opportunity to unleash malicious humor.

Thankfully, the festivities here are far from malicious. There’s food, drink, music and dancing all around town. Everyone is dressed in bright, colourful clothing and costumes and the Off-Worlders are encouraged to dance and celebrate alongside them. Cream pies, enchanted hand buzzers, the ol’ switcharoo with various possessions and other fairly lame pranks are standard.

Apprentices, guards and even outlier scum are encouraged to participate freely in the festival. It will be a week long binge of FUN.

-Food stalls provide free drinks of all flavours (some of which providing new sensations or strange tingles), cakes and baked goods (some of which are provided by the Fuck Bakery: Cakes that Make you Want to Fuck). It’s hard to differentiate the enhanced food from the regular food, but Off-Worlders will soon figure out that many people have a penchant for aphrodisiacs, enhancers and drugs in their food.

-Hookah pipes with many flavours to partake in, within silk tents amongst silk pillows for getting reeealllll comfortable. The warm, fruity scents are alluring and can have aphrodisiac-like effects if inhaled for long enough. They also lower the inhibitions and calm the mind, making everyone in the tent more open to suggestion.

-Jelly wrestling for prizes (of which you are free to take liberties) and shoulder wrestling for prizes (of which you are also free to take liberties) along with other familiar carnival games with erotic twists. Bobbing for candy dicks, pin the bikini on the nude girl, cock rodeos and extremely violent games of whack-a-mole.

-The brothels are in full force. Girls in ridiculous, skimpy costumes (think octopus, jesters or plague doctors) are outside selling their wares, they’re just too tempting to resist.

-Most exciting of all is the Fun Worm, who makes his way through the whole festival. He looks like six or so villagers under a really shitty costume, but it doesn’t seem to bother anyone. On closer inspection, you will be lured in by the fun pheromones and powerless to resist them. Inhaling fun pheromones forces a big, cheesy grin on your face. Suddenly, fun is the objective and your inhibitions are severely lowered for an hour or so. He’s constantly cycling around the festival, so it’s hard to avoid him. What’s important to note is that the Fun Worm is a new addition, a gift from the travelling Fun Cult to enhance the festivities. The Fun Cult has brought fun and laughter to kingdoms far and wide, although those kingdoms became a lot less prosperous when their priorities shifted from trade and farming to jello shots and week long benders.

The festivities continue even through nightfall (lanterns will be lit, some of which float through the sky of their own accord, bonfires with incredible scents will be lit too) and will do so for the rest of the week.

Comments

[shymon]

[Day One]

The decision to become a guard came immediately after discovering that it came with the privilege of winning back a power. It's only been a day and Simon feels vulnerable without it. Being in a crazy new world with crazy people is new to him, but the general concept of weird stuff happening isn't. He wants to be prepared.

A fight, a struggle and a win later and he's signed up as a Guard. They show him around, fit him for a uniform and he's starting to have regrets. They show him to his bunk and he changes into it. Unwilling to expose himself to the world immediately, he dawdles in there for some time before he's asked to go out and watch the newcomers fumble through the day.

He tries his best to be confident in what seems to be cut-off shorts and a man sized corset, but eventually he makes the best of a bad situation and turns invisible. He positions himself outside the sign posts and watches for boisterous behaviour or confusion.

If someone lingers too long, he'll find the courage to turn himself visible again. He's perched up on a nearby windowsill, and the seriousness of his expression doesn't match his outfit.

"Are you having trouble picking?"

[Day Two]
Simon is given endless free time to explore the festival, but as a guard. He's asked to keep an eye on things, so the uniform is necessary. He manages to find a big, hooded cloak that covers most of his exposed skin, so he stands out as looking fairly drab in a group of colourful people.

He manages to have a drink in his hands at all times, so by mid-morning he's already getting a little tipsy. He should take it easy and sit down for a while, so he can be found relaxing in the hookah tents. It will take some encouragement to make him try it, but once he does he'll be more relaxed than he's ever been.

Pretty girls can convince him to try anything, so he's had a mix of booze and drinks with varying effects. From wanting to snog someone, hug someone to just a general, buzzed feeling all around.

[brokencode]

Day One

[Sliding into the role of an Apprentice only made sense to the siren. At best, it was training that she’d never had the chance to receive. At worst, it was a warm place to lay her head without laying her life on the line in turn. Even after signing, when her eyes swept over the contract and found nothing in particular hinting at her potential education, she could not bring herself to regret it.]

[She followed the map throughout the castle, trying and failing miserably to find her room. After getting turned around for the third time, Angel finally approached the nearest familiar face, clearing her throat as she did.]

Excuse me? Do you think you could help me make sense of this?

Day Two- General

[Angel had gone outside the next day, determined to explore in what she hoped would be relative peace. Not so much, it seemed, considering the festivities kicking off.]

[To say she was surprised by the nature of things (polishing doorknobs notwithstanding) would be a massive understatement. The sheer amount of both women and men, milling about in less than respectable states of attire, was enough to send a significant amount of heat to both her head and -- ]

[Well, a little further south.]

[The girl was careful to avoid the people, giving them a wide berth for fear of -- of what she couldn’t say. Unfortunately, one of these attempts sent her stumbling back into the weird looking worm-thing. Maybe she would have been embarrassed, if not for the abrupt wave of elation that swept through her.]

Day Two- Doughy encouragement.

[It wasn't hard to tell just how much more... liberated people were around these parts. Angel thought it odd, but she wasn't sure if it was just her, or if it was her sequestered upbringing talking. Whatever the reason, she'd felt somewhat... uneased since arriving in this odd place.]

[But maybe not for much longer.]

[She look a simple one, after inquiring as to the exact definition of "vanilla" and "missionary." It wasn't that sex was undesirable to her, just a little... odd. Anything to help her relax and ease into this strange new role she was playing.]

[At first, she thought the heat pooling in her gut was some sort of poison -- just fitting in a fantasy land such as this one. But judging by the knowing quirk of a brow on behalf of the woman, this was an intended effect, and not meant to be an unpleasant one.]

[Slipping away from the woman, Angel leaned against a wall, head in her hands as she tried to collect her thoughts and make sense of the odd ache between her thighs.]

two sort of, i do what i want!!

[heirlift]

Frankly, John wasn't all that enthusiastic about the uniform, but he did sign up for this. The more attention it nets him, the more relaxed he gets with it, at least. If he doesn't like it, then he can at least be at peace with it. He still can't help but think this style would suit a certain someone else he knows a lot better, but... he seems to fit in here, at least. When in Rome, and all that.

The cloak idea, though, that seems like a good idea. He spots his bunkmate and sidles up casually. Fear No Anvil is slung at his side, offering him a bit of comfort in this trying time; and a familiar offworlder face helps, too.

"So how about this..." He pauses, looking for the right word. "They called it a festival, right? How about it? Sure is... something."

Yeah. Yeah, that's about all he can think to say about it. He's still sort of getting used to everything. Guard duty serves him well in that way, giving him an excuse to stand back and watch.

day one

[heirlift]

[ Oh jeez, oh gosh. This uniform sure is something else. Day one of guard duty and John doesn't really know what he should be doing with himself. He's been assigned to a relatively low activity post to start off with, partly because it's easy and partly because who the hell wants to do it, but that doesn't really help. People still walk by and he still feels insecure about the scantness of his uniform. He struggles between trying to pull down the corset top, pulling up the shorts that leave very, very little to the imagination, then pulling them back down when he inadvertently gives himself a wedgie.

He's in the middle of doing just that when someone approaches him, someone who looks like they don't belong as much as he doesn't. He stops the rather undignified tugging of clothes (what little he has, and straightens up, offering a smile. She looks sweet, and she's lost, and John "Mr. Suave" Egbert can't help but give her his undivided attention. It takes his mind off his attire, that's for sure. ]

Oh. Hey there! Uh.

[ He peers at her map, scratching his chin. Finally, he puzzles it out and points to a spot that's nowhere near her room. ]

I know this is where you are. Does that help?

[rockisdead]

Day One

[Alright, this is...hm. It's a little less colorful than the ghost zone is, but she can deal with the possibility of not being crammed into a thermos every few days or so. Besides, a world without that little meddling ghost freak would be a lot more fun to mess with, wouldn't it?

That is, if any of her abilities wanted to work.

Ember first tries phasing right out of the room when she first appears, and gets nothing. Then, she attempts singing to the guard as they bring her down to the village, and she just gets an odd look. It doesn't help that her hair gets snuffed out by the rain. So, you know what? Scratch all that positivity. This whole place freaking sucked.

She heads down to the village and wanders around a little, taking in her environment. Eventually, she just kind of stops and finds a nice spot against a building to people-watch. Crossing her arms, she watches as people go by, before calling out to another person.]

Yo, dipstick. Something about this place seem off to you? Besides the whole "trapped in the Dork Ages" thing.

Day Two

[ONCE A YEAR WE THROW A PARTY HERE IN TOWN, ONCE A YEAR SOMETHING SOMETHING UPSIDE DOWN...

Ember is pretty chill about this whole thing. She doesn't really enjoy crowds if they aren't screaming her praises, but she can indulge in a bit of hedonism once in a while, so it balances itself out well. She hasn't really needed to eat in a pretty long time, so she avoids the food stalls out of habit for now. But she does find herself in one of the the hookah tents pretty quickly.

Hard to break that habit.

Ember's going to lay back against some pillows, take the occasional puff, and cross her legs. She can appreciate that the vibe in here is decently chill. For now.]

[brokencode]

[Oblivious as she was, John would find that he was lucky enough to miss being caught in the seat-picking act. Unfortunately, as her gaze flicked upward, she found that her obliviousness was not nearly enough to protect her from the sight of the uniform itself. Angel had the displeasure of activating security cameras just in time to see a nude Psycho running across the screen, and yet somehow, this was worse.]

[At least Psychos weren't intentionally trying to show off the goods. Usually. These uniforms were another matter entirely.]

[The man couldn't be faulted for what his employer assigned to him, however, and he certainly wasn't the first guard she'd seen. Just the first one to smile at her and offer to actually help.]

[As he prodded her map, a sigh escaped her. She'd been close enough once she'd started, but considering the fact that she'd been sequestered to a lab chamber for most of her life, she barely had any sense of direction. And the map wasn't anything like the high-quality digital ones she was used to using.]

I... suppose it helps me figure out where I am. I don't suppose you know your way around enough to help me?

Day Two - second prompt

[rockisdead]

[Ahh, crap.

Ember's supposed to keep her "tough girl" image up. She shouldn't find herself concerned with anyone, especially not any of the weirdoes from this place. But seeing Angel up against a wall, obviously distraught and uncomfortable, catches Ember's attention for all the wrong reasons.

It gets her to stop in her tracks, and she looks towards Angel with an uncomfortably long glance. It reminds Ember of a girl she once knew - one who had been bullied, had a secret crush on Gene Simmons, and ended up being extremely flammable.

...That's a soft spot. Ember immediately shoves those intrusive thoughts out of her head, and decides she'll worry about it later. Right now, she decides to approach. She slaps that tough girl exterior back on, casually leaning on the wall next to Angel.]

You don't look like you're having fun, dipstick.

[brokencode]

[Overwhelmed with as many new sensations as she was, Angel didn't notice Ember staring, or even leaning beside her until she spoke. Super-charged as her system was, and considering the relative harshness of the woman's words, she flinched away.]

[She tried to attribute the racing of her heart to being startled, but she was relatively certain that it was simply part of the side-effects of the cake she'd eaten. If she wasn't already thinking it was the worst idea ever, she was now.]

Just -- [Angel wrinkled her nose at how soft and feeble her voice came out.] Ate something that isn't agreeing with me, that's all.

[Nothing like starting a conversation off by bringing up gastrointestinal distress, right?]

[rockisdead]

[Well. That gets her to quirk an eyebrow, if nothing else. She hasn't really had to eat food here yet, though she's certain that'll come along soon enough.

Angel's reaction is weird, though. It seems like it's more than just food, but then again, Ember wasn't really sure how humans reacted to that stuff. It had been a while. She frowns, especially when hearing Angel speak that softly, and quickly butts in again.]

What, like stomach pains or something?

[brokencode]

Something like that.

[Perhaps the cakes had sparked something inside of her, maybe even loosened her inhibitions, but they hadn't done anything to loosen her tongue. Something stuck inside her, whether it was her father's insistence that she be a "good little "Angel," or the fact that it wasn't good manners to up and tell a stranger that you were -- ]

[Turned on, was the word, right?]

[That was the other thing holding her back. She'd eaten the cakes to help shed herself of some of her inexperience. Even after 24 hours in this strange place, it was clear that sex was simply the way of things. She'd hoped to take the quick and easy way out, hoped that it would affect more than just her body, but here she was.]

[Somewhere in the universe, after turning over in what she hoped was his grave, Handsome Jack was laughing.]

This is... hardly an appropriate conversation for a stranger though. I'm sorry.

[rockisdead]

[...Oh. OH.

Ember lets out a scoff, crossing her arms and leaning back against the wall. What was once a worried stare turns into a knowing, shit-eating smirk. She knew this place was obsessed with sex, but she hadn't imagined it going to this extent.

Well, whatever, we're going to mess with Angel's boundaries now.]

Ohhhhhh, lemme guess, babypop. This has to do with all the sex stuff that this place is freaking obsessed with, right?

[brokencode]

[Angel wanted to believe she was a good liar. She'd spent the better part of five years convincing an entire planet that she was an artificial intelligence, there for their benefit. That she wasn't serving the people keeping the planet oppressed.]

[The problem with her line of thinking, is that she wasn't used to the lies coming from her own face. Her projection on Pandora was nothing more than basic facial expressions played on a loop. All she needed to do was keep her voice level.]

[She liked to think she succeeded in that much. But as she spoke, she felt her lips turn down, and her cheeks light up.]

It's nothing like that. Just a stomachache.

[She wrenched her gaze away from the woman, looking for a way out, a distraction, anything that might have kept her from whatever direction this conversation was going in. It wasn't an easy feat -- even without the cake doing god only knew what to her, the woman was a fascinating subject.]

[At some point, the siren would absolutely have to ask what spell she used to make her hair look and behave the way it did.]

[rockisdead]

[Ember's not out to make Angel embarrassed or anything - if she was out for that, it would've been done already. But she almost finds herself cringing, watching Angel try to lie to her like that. For one thing, this lady had obviously never heard of body language. There's a start.]

Well, sheesh. I'm not gonna push my luck if you're gonna act all frigid on me, dipstick.

[She's not gonna push that line of questioning if it's really going to make this weirdo uncomfortable. Ember can do plenty of messing with people, but she already knows what crazy stalkers are like. She doesn't want to probe if Little Ms. Innocent is going to be a brick wall.

Still. This wasn't really a place where you could just avoid talking about it, given everything. This lady oughta learn sooner rather then later..]

Lets be real here for a second. I saw at least 12 doorknobs shaped like penises on the way over here. Maybe you can afford to be a little honest with yourself, babe.

[brokencode]

[That was enough to make Angel cringe. Not the sight or memory of the doorknobs, but the reminder that it was now her job to polish them regularly. She didn't need to understand the innuendo to feel considerably uncomfortable with her new duty.]

[Still, there was one thing that stuck out to Angel about this woman and her seemingly endless (albeit mostly harmless) badgering. She doubted correcting the woman would do anything (the woman was almost like her father, in the sense that they enjoyed vaguely insulting nicknames), but at the very least, it would be minding her manners.]

It's Angel. Not dipstick.

[She spoke not with annoyance or frustration, but with a calm sort of voice. If her suspicion was correct, and she did share this particular trait with her father, then a rise was exactly what she wanted.]

[It was all about escalation with these types.]

I'm not sure what you mean by being honest with myself though.

[heirlift]

[ Day One]

[ The "interview" was easy. John finds that he hasn't gotten rusty in all his time on the new Earth, largely by way of trying to stave off the boredom. He's never actually wrestled with anyone outside of a fight for his life, but it comes surprisingly easy to him, and-- aw, heck. It's kind of fun. And if it gets him even one of his hammers back, he's all for it. Seems better than the alternatives.

What John doesn't find so easy is squeezing into the uniform. It's not that it doesn't fit him-- it's that it fits him too well. He wonders if he should have shaved his legs? He feels a little out of place among his lithe and athletic coworkers who, despite having already bested one in hand-to-hand combat, still strike him as the type who could crush his head between their thighs. He almost wonders if the guard he faced off again threw the fight just for an excuse to see him in these shorts... it seems to be a novelty, at best. Well... no harm, no foul.

He straps his hammer to his belt, and, ever the go-getter, elects into his very first task. It bills itself as an easy but dull job of monitoring a particular well-traversed hallway, far enough into the interior that it doesn't really see much excitement, but traveled enough that one needs to always be on alert, just in case.

God, he hates this uniform.

He can thank his lucky stars that it doesn't ride up on him as he makes his way to his post, trailed by another guard who's taken a weird interest in him. He's not sure of her intentions; he suspects she's really only interested in pranking him, somehow. He can sense it. With his prankster senses. Which just means that he'll have to prank her first to establish dominance. All the same, he's eager to greet anyone else who comes by, flashing a smile and giving a wave and hoping they stop to give him an excuse to put his attention elsewhere. ]


[ Day Two ]

[ Never say that John Egbert doesn't pick up quickly. He's still a little uneasy in the uniform, but a good 12 hours in it has sort of settled his nerves about being seen in public. At least he seems to... fit in. And the kind of attention it earns him is a little bit flattering, even if it's kind of embarrassing. By his second day, he's almost entirely rid himself of the urge to fidget with it, though a stiff breeze is still liable to set his hairs on end.

It's a good thing he doesn't know anyone here.

It also serves as a good excuse to stand back and just sort of watch the events of the festival unfold, one hand on the handle of his hammer as he leans against a pole. He's guarding it. He's guarding the pole. It's a very important job, someone's got to do it, etc. etc. But the fact is that he's not actually working at that very moment, which means that his attention is free to wander. And while he hasn't really bought into the culture here just yet... he's still a man in his early twenties. When woman half-dressed in all her finest silks struts by, exuding the air of confidence and the kind of expectant glances that says she expects to be seen, John can't help oblige.

And he can't help craning his neck a little as she rounds a corner.

And he can't help stumbling a little as the pole fails to support his awkward weight distribution, and he goes stumbling forward. If he's lucky, he'll land in the mud, but if he's unlucky, he'll land on someone else. Hopefully, with almost 200lbs of dude barreling into them, they won't both end up in the mud. ]

[rockisdead]

[Because she's a shit, Ember takes that as an introduction.]

Ember.

[She calls everybody dipstick. It's nothing against Angel, even if it might seem like it's that way. Still, Ember takes the opportunity to quickly get her own introduction out of the way. Not her fault that she's a smartass.]

With this being a sex thing. Because it's pretty obviously that. I don't think this stupid place has the sort of boundaries you'd expect.

[geminated_man]

[Day One]

Rudy had been taking his time in getting up and out the door, preferring mostly to try and get just a little more sleep. But with all the racket, it looked as though that would not be happening, and begrudgingly, he shuffled himself out the door.

The decision had not been a difficult one, as Rudy preferred his life of leisure and enjoying his simple pleasures. The guard was not for him, certainly, as he rarely had any will to fight, and certainly none of the aptitude for defending a person or country or whatever the hell guards guarded from any threats. This all looked a bit like one of those shit Old Tyme festivals, and didn't castles usually fight armed soldiers and that? No thank you.

Then there was the apprentices. Rudy didn't know a lot about careers, but he knew that the word "Apprentice" generally came with a heaping spoonful of responsibilities and abuse from whichever highwayman or master that was being studied under, and work, like studying, was not in Rudy's purview of things he wanted to do with his time.

Gathering his things, Rudy shuffled out, curious and a bit nervous. What was he going to encounter? Where was this, exactly? What was he in for? The person waiting for him when the heavy door opened for him was a nice touch, but the chill of the air after the evening's rain hit him and blew right through him and his meager clothing. He had no idea where they were to be going, but he was eager to find out and actually have the opportunity to march on and explore his new home. The further through the town he was taken, the less nice things got, and the closer the forests approached. Maybe not choosing one of the offered careers was a death sentence, and he was going to be dragged out to the forest and left for wolves. Did they have wolves here? There was an old, familiar anxiety bubbling in his gut at this idea, but he pushed it down.

Finally, he was led not to the forest, but to a run-down little shack. It wasn't great, but it was... something, anyway.

"Well this is a bit shit, isn't it?" He asked, laughing and turning to the guard. The guard, however, had already turned and was already about fifteen feet back, clearly not interested in his banter. "Well fuck you too then. Prick." He huffed and took his things inside, setting out soon after to explore the little town and hopefully not get himself lost in the process.

[Day Two]

Now this was more like it.

The day had started far too early, with the noise of preparations having woken him from his sleep. He hadn't much of an idea of what to expect when he trudged through the town the day before, but whatever his expectations were, it really wasn't this. There were more colours and banners strewn about than he had ever seen before, and all manner of games and treats being offered from vendors. And Rudy, never one to pay for anything he didn't have to, happily took sample after sample of drink and pastry.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea. But he wasn't the only one partaking, either. And who knows? Maybe the right smile to the right girl with the right amount of cakes and alcohol in her system might just turn this whole experience into an incredible one.

[brokencode]

[Angel found herself glancing upward once more, taking in the billowing form of her hair. If Angel were the type, she might have pointed out just how on the nose the woman's name was. It was probably for the best, considering Angel's own name compared to her powers.]

Nice to meet you then, Ember. [Somehow, despite Ember's jabs and borderline taunting, the siren was left feeling guilty for neglecting her manners.]

I am... aware of what this looks like. And I am attempting to come around to it. [Not that her attempts were going all that well, seeing as how the cake was bringing far more distress than anything else.]

[rockisdead]

Doesn't look like you're doing a real good job with it.

[Ember raises her arm up to eye-level, glancing at her nails as she speaks, attempting to present herself with an air of disinterest.]

That's just one girl's humble opinion, of course.

[It's not an entirely wrong assessment.]

[brokencode]

And what would you recommend?

[Maybe Angel was bad at reading situations, but it sounded like Ember was simply looking for a reason to interject her opinion. Why she was waiting, the siren didn't know. She'd done a decent enough job of inserting herself into the conversation so far.]

In your "humble opinion," that is.

[Better to get her conclusions out of the way, fast as possible.]

[rockisdead]

I can tell you that you shouldn't be sulking in a corner like some distraught lameo, babypop.

[Part of it is definitely pushing at Angel's buttons. The other part is that you can't really go out and say "go fucking masturbate jfc sexual frustration is weird". But, even so...]

You should probably be concerned with going back to your place and working this off.

[brokencode]

[It was a valid suggestion, and one that Angel was seriously considering. If nothing else, her room would provide a break from both temptation and stimulation. Of the social variety, of course.]

[It felt like a waste of her newfound freedom, though.]

So... rather than sulking in a corner, I should sulk in my room. Am I understanding this correctly?

[rockisdead]

..."Working this off" was meant as a metaphor, babypop.

[does...angel not understand masturbation innuendos...]

[brokencode]

[Not at first brush. But with Ember's nudging, realization quickly dawned on her. You didn't serve under or be raised by Handsome Jack without at least picking up on a little innuendo, after all.]

Ah -- I... suppose that would help resolve matters, wouldn't it?

[Don't mind her, Ember, she's just going to shrink back against the wall and... hope by some miracle that she might become one with it. Strange women offering her sex advice was... not what she signed up for at all.]

[rockisdead]

Always worked for me, babydoll.

[The embarrassment gets Ember to smirk, raising an eyebrow just a little bit at that reaction. She understood that this chick was just a bit nervous about this whole thing, but treating even the slightest sexual idea like a leper is...something.]

You seem pretty weird about the idea. Can't put my finger on why that would be.