kingdomcomes | September Event: Creature Feature

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September Event: Creature Feature

And now, for something a little different.

The town crier, now a centaur, had a bit of fascinating news for all those who would gather round to hear him. And you will gather round, because he seems to be one of the only ones who knows what’s going on. Some moments after you drank water this day, you may have noticed a sudden shift in body parts. Perhaps you have horse legs, or wings, or a horse tail, or extra eyes, maybe too few eyes, or perhaps hooves— A lot of creatures are part horse, aren’t they?

The town crier does his duty and tells you the tale. As it happens, a wizard of local dubious renown was seen fleeing the town early this morning. Long time locals knew this to be a sign of terribleness to come. At the scene of the crime was a discarded bucket with a sludgey residue inside. This was initially nothing that caused alarm. There were many buckets of sludge around town. Yet when the investigations began, the Mistress quickly deduced that the sludge was a horrific transmogrification potion.

She has called all suspicious persons to her castle for questioning. Ordinarily, she would allow this to slide. If the people of her town want to make one another miserable, then they are at liberty to do so. But, this was personal.

Your much beloved Mistress was looking rather more furry than usual. From head-to-toe she was covered in long, silky, fur— much befitting for the most beautiful yeti in all the land.

Will you answer her call? Are you stuck in some predicament that does not allow you to attend? Or have you lost your legs entirely?

[[OOC: The ooc for this event is over here]]

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[ If it weren't for where she sits, you may easily mistake her for a mountain-dwelling beast rather than the tyrant of the kingdom. Her fingers tap away at the arm of the throne while her personal guards and servants stand by, ever so clearly nervous. ]

Who. Did. THIS? [ She jabs that meaty finger toward her yeti face.

[ She points a finger into the crowd. At... you? ]

You. You look suspicious enough. Come up.

Edited 2017-09-07 02:11 (UTC)

[Steps are, apparently, slippery, and Alphinaud has difficulty enough navigating on four legs on flat flooring, let alone stairs. In the end, it involves two guards hefting him up the stairs - with his ears and tail on alert the entire time - to get him up to where the Mistress is.

As soon as he has four hooves on solid ground, he straightens himself as much as possible, setting his jaw - not in an effort to look intimidating, but simply to look as serious as possible while one's back half is made of deer.]

Mistress.

[ The Mistress sighs in exasperation as he is finally properly placed for an audience. ]

[ She remains seated in an aggressive and aggressively sexual pose, but it would only look enticing to someone who is sexually interested in yetis. ]

I know who you are, so don't waste our time. Who did this?

[Thankfully, Alphinaud is not. But it makes it somewhat easier to give her eye contact, at least.]

All I have heard is that a strange wizard was seen absconding early this morning. I saw nothing out of the ordinary.

[ A dark look passes over yeti face. The Mistress snarls. ]

Wizard... [ She turns to the guard to her right. ] Hunt him down.

[ The guard salutes and gestures to her subordinates. The order ripples through the ranks and soon a few are leaving to spread and enact the order. She watches them leave before looking back at Alphinaud. ]

Good boy.

[There's something about the way that epithet is used that makes him absolutely want to squirm. He hadn't given the information to gain praise.]

Is there any other way that I can be of assistance?

Actually, yes. I'm in a foul mood.

[She leans forward, resting her big dumb jaw on the back of her big dumb paw.]

Dance.

[The request takes him aback, and Alphinaud staggers backwards a step, though thankfully it doesn't put him off-balance.]

Dance--!? I am barely steady on my feet, let alone able to dance!

[The Mistress looks at him, and it would be a lot more meaningful if her face was its usual way. But it's not, so there is no solid clue, but she slowly grins.]

Believe me, I noticed. You wasted enough time already having to be hauled around.

[More firmly.] Dance.

[Alphinaud is not wont to get himself into trouble, but neither is he willing to just do as commanded. He has more self-respect than that.]

... and if I do not?

[Just an innocent question. Nothing more.]

[She decides to offer him the slightest benefit of the doubt, even though she is Fully Aware that he's just being a little diplomat right now.]

Then I will make you dance.

[That is most certainly a threat... And while he's been told to keep his wits about him, he is also not keen on kowtowing. But if it means remaining relatively safe... and it isn't a lewd request, either.

It's best to get it over with and remain out of her focus for as long as possible.

So, Alphinaud relents, sucking up his pride for a moment and attempting to do a dance he'd seen adventurers learning in the Far East. It isn't the most elegant thing, considering he has twice as many legs as he's used to, but he is trying.]

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hornymistress - 2017-09-11 07:57 (UTC) - Expand

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alphinerd - 2017-09-11 14:19 (UTC) - Expand

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hornymistress - 2017-09-11 20:18 (UTC) - Expand

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[Kaph steps forward. Perhaps to aid the Mistress's suspicions, he seems to have no problem walking on digitigrade legs. On the other hand... Those ears and the tail (tails?) that he has are not quite those he'd like to have. They're black, catlike, and, in his opinion, they make him look too much like an anime catboy, which might be good to pick up chicks elsewhere but it just looks SILLY here.]

You think I would have done this to myself, Your Highness?

[Well, Kaph, good thing you brought that attitude with you. She is really in no mood for it, but in her infinite grace, she holds back from immediately trying to throw a spell at him.]

I know a lot about you, "Kaphlar", but I don't know every single one of your little fetishes.

[He swears to god he will knock that attitude straight outta her yet. Just you wait, "Mistress". Just you WAIT.]

What I'm trying to say, Your Highness, [and God, the restraint it takes to keep himself from rolling his eyes] is that if I could do this, I would have just turned myself into a fox. Obviously.

Obviously, your race has no bearing on this, or what's-his-name would have turned into a dragon. [She's talking about Estinien, and does not care if she's implying to him and anyone listening that Estinien is Actually Secretly A Dragon.]

Do you have a better alibi than that?

... If you know me as well as you say you do? Then you ought to know that if I had access to any sort of magic by now--

[... He would have aimed much higher, is what he nearly says, but he catches himself in time to realise that's a surefire way to ensure he never DOES get to learn magic. Shit, what now?]

I'd... have some kind of plan! I mean, there would be rhyme and reason to it, yeah? And I definitely would have made you look a lot better than this, Your Highness.

[That's not EXACTLY a lie. If he could transform the Mistress? Step one would be to give her tits, really.]

[The Mistress glares at him, long and silent, as she gives his words more consideration than she thinks he's due. She rolls her yeti eyes.]

That line of argument is stupid enough that I accept it.

[... Mission... accomplished??]

Gee, thanks, Your Highness.

[Egon will come up, looking miserable and... slimy. He's making a mess of your hall, and he's also late. And he's very... very slowly making his way to the front of the crowd.]

Trust me, ma'am. I plan on maiming whoever did this.

[She snarls and jabs a big finger at him, apparently not caring if he ended up as something she'll inevitably make the apprentices clean up later.]

And I should just take you at your word?

Edited 2017-09-09 05:04 (UTC)

[Aymeric is almost surprised that she points him out. He had feared that she might view this as retribution of some sort for the boot licking from weeks ago. That's hardly on his mind at this point.

Between his big wooly sheep butt and his silly curvy horns, Aymeric has enough to worry about. His thong, which no longer fits around his hips, is nowhere to be seen. Aymeric's cape is pinned and folded up around his hips into a loin cloth styled skirt... He looks kind of like a satyr, save for the short curling tail.]

[He awkwardly moves into a one kneed kneel. It is more than obvious that he should try not to piss her off like this.]

Mistress, I did not do this, I swear on it. Pray consider: Don't you think that it would be far more suspicious if I had avoided the malady?

[The Mistress heaves out a sigh and curls her lip back from her big ol' yeti teeth. They are impeccably clean.]

Which is exactly what the guilty party would say and do to prove their own innocence.

[He sighs.] Perhaps, yet this is clearly magic of frivolity. While miserable, we are all uninjured. What is more, I am no mage, and I have no reason to make mine own clothing unwearable merely to spite you.

[He gestures to his cape playing double duty as a skirt.]

My life is made no easier by irritating you.

[One of the servants, who has been transformed into some kind of pig monster (and not one with any classically sexy features) pipes up in a meek voice, "Actually, my sister turned into a fish and a guard ate her."]

[The Mistress allows it, but not without looking wholly and entirely unimpressed.]

Idiots tend to lash out in frustration, and it isn't like you don't have access to potions.

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