kingdomcomes | A Little Winter Atmosphere

A Little Winter Atmosphere

[Winter arrives slower than usual, thanks to the Snow Queen's mid-year horny spell giving her a bit more time before her libido kicked back in. But now she is returning to the fullness of need. And that's where winter comes from.]

[This time, the Kingdom is better prepared to engage in the usual yearly orgasm denial of a goddess. Winter clothes are easier to come by, and every public hearth has some hot something-or-other simmering away. There's a coziness and comfort as farmers retire for the winter, and herds provided all the oats and meal they need, but that doesn't stop them from rooting through the snow for withering crispy treats.]

[Not that Guards are allowed to actually wear clothes or take full advantage of that cozy warmth, heavens no. Not everything is about sex even under the Mistress' reign. Sometimes, it is about Control. She figures everyone should suffer some nipple chafing and shrinkage as a character building exercise, so they get to have some extra shifts outside.]

[The native guards will take to using the snow to prank the Apprentices in as many ways as they can dream up: anything from convoluted plans to hide extremely fresh soft snow in your entire wardrobe, to the more direct approach of "one gets you in a lock while the other dumps snow down the back of your clothes." The off-worlder guards are encouraged to join in the bullying, at least in passing. They won't actually be targeted with snow, though. Call it a token of respect, perhaps.]

[Hey Outliers, having fun out there in the snow being poor? Haha, suckers. But hey, maybe you can make some money running errands, or performing services out in the cold? Or even... "services." At least you probably won't freeze to death. The townsfolk will generally keep an eye on you, unless you're an unpleasant jerk. Then have fun being dead, nerd.]

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[Maybe he's doing it to fit in with his new fellows, maybe he's doing it for the goofs. Either way he's joining in on the bullying by shoving snow down the shirts and pants of as many apprentices he can get his grubby hands on. He takes his cue from his fellow guards and doesn't target the off-worlder guards like himself but that doesn't stop him from teasing and jeering at those who refuse to join in on the goofs. In fact, he's not above throwing a snowball or two at those few guards who would respectfully leave the Apprentices all.

Either way, lookout world, Cain is ready to prank some nerds.]

[This is like the fourth time today that Kaph has had snow shoved down his shirt, and he's beyond sick and tired of it. By now, he's taken to flailing wildly in hopes of accidentally-on-purpose injuring whoever's doing this to him, consequences be damned.]

Youuu coward sons of bitches, go mess with someone who actually has pants!

[He's grinning from ear to ear, satisfied with the outcome of the prank. His grin falters only slightly when he's decked across the face by Kaph. But Cain could be very forgiving in light of the misfortune of others. He could forgive Kaph if only because he reminds himself that he's being watched by his peers. And Cain desperately wants to fit in.

Unfortunately that meant more bullying for Kaph.]

Why? Everyone else is messin' with ya pretty bitches. Sounds like you could use some more fuckin' snow.

[The grin becomes twisted as he tries to bat away Kaph's wild movements. Moving in for a solid headlock.]

[Now, on some rational level, Kaph knows he could and should shrug off words like "ya pretty bitches". Nobody knows what happened in that tent a couple of months ago. No one knows, cares, or wants to bring up who he did or didn't fuck when everyone got bit by the horny bug. The locals here don't even seem to care who you do or don't fuck ordinarily.

But he has an image to maintain, one that he clings to obsessively and that relies on certain tenets of masculinity, such as "why yes I have sex with lots of women" and "me, find guys as hot as girls? haha, what do you think I am, gay?"

There's that, and there's his temper, which can, at times, have very specific triggers.

All this to say that, when Cain tries to put him in a headlock, Kaph tries to bite his fucking arm.]

OW! FUCKIN' CHRIST! [Cain doesn't let go of his headlock. He snarls and tries to smack Kaph away from his arm, fingers prodding at Kaph's mouth to try to wrench him away from the skin.] Stop bitin' me ya fuckin monkey! [Under any other circumstance Cain might have found this to be a hot turn on. Right now? It was up to him to defend his honor in front of his fellow guards.]

Pfffpphbb-- [Oh god WHAT, get those fingers out of his mouth -] Leave me the fuck alone, then!

[He's trying to wiggle free now. Trying being the key word.]

If ya could have just taken yer lumps like a good sport, I woulda let ya go! [He doesn't let go of Kaph despite how difficult it is to keep a good grip on the lad. Instead, he starts to steer him towards a snow-pile, tightening his hold where he can without letting the other slip free.]

But now it's gotta be like this on this bitch of a place.

The fuck are you-- Hey! Cut it out, you dipshit!

[Goddammit! If this guy's not gonna let him go, then Kaph is just going to do his damned best to get their legs all tangled up so they can't go anywhere.]

[Éowyn is definitely leaving the Apprentices alone. In fact, she's being rather sharp with those who don't - not out of any particular love for the Apprentices in particular, but because this is no honourable way for soldiers to act.]

[Which makes her a prime target for a snowball in the back of the head while she's out in the courtyard.]

[She wheels around, looking for the culprit. Her expression says he may regret it if she finds him.]

[Cain absolutely takes responsibility for the snowball. It's hard not to with his wicked little grin scrawled across his face, laughing like a little goblin who just earned himself the keep of the treasure.

And he's got another one primed and ready; hurling it at Éowyn with a sly wink before.]

[Now she's facing him, she can dodge: the snowball splashes against the edge of her shoulder.]

[If her expression was grim before, now it's positively thunderous as she advances on him.]

Have you no better use for your time than this? Are you a child, or only a fool?

[Éowyn is the sort of person who's taking it as a point of pride not to complain about the cold. Unfortunately, that kind of bravado leads to taking on extra shifts when people challenge her to, and she's spending all her working day outside.]

[She can't feel her toes.]

[Seriously, it's no colder than Rohan in the depth of winter, but the difference is that in Rohan she doesn't have to stand around in what's basically lingerie, with no gloves and boots made more for strutting in than for keeping warm. The cloak gives some relief, but it's only thin fabric, and not big enough to wrap herself in properly.]

[She's stubbornly keeping up her shifts, and stepping in to interfere with anyone pranking anyone else. Most of the rest of the time, she can be found pacing the castle walls. Keep moving, keep warm. Stands to reason.]

[Although the purpling bruises on her thighs and ass suggest she's fallen down more than once, because with snow comes ice, and again, these boots are not meant for winter wear.]

[Please don't comment if you see her fall over. It's hard to balance on ice with high heels and numb legs.]

[Why is Ford hanging around near the castle when he's an outlier and pretty outspoken about disliking the Mistress? Because he's kind of like a cat. You tell him 'don't go near this dangerous thing' and he wants to stick his stupid nose right in it. Mainly he wants to get a feel for patrol schedules, on account of that's always useful information to have, and noting it down in his journal (his private one, not the magical one that everyone can see. He's not going to make that mistake again).

The first time she slips he winces. The second time he gives a kind of quiet, disbelieving laugh, far too soft for her to hear. The third time he decides it's officially time to maybe step in here, even if it blows his cover.]

You know, if you stay sitting down for a little it may actually help the bruising. Cold is good for that.

[Yeah just plonk your barely-covered ass down in the snow, it's fine.

It should be noted he is not actually aware this woman he's talked to twice now is also Eowyn or he'd maybe -- well, no, okay. He'd probably still suggest she put her ass in the snow.]

[For a moment, she honestly doesn't know how to respond to that. It's so stupid, and so ill-mannered, that what can she even say to it?]

[Huffing a little, she scrambles to her feet, brushing snow off her bare thighs.]

How foolish of me not to have thought of that. To cripple myself with numb cold and betray my duties, all at a stroke!

[Jeez.]

It was only a suggestion. If you'd rather be unable to sit down comfortably for a week that's your choice.

[She opens her mouth to make a sharp retort, then closes it again, and sighs.]

That choice is past me, I fear. Chilling bruises goes only so far.

What duty have you here? You are not knight, nor noble. [Why are you even here to offer stupid advice?]

[He's self-employed and bored.]

I find the best way to acclimate to a new environment is to thoroughly explore and catalog it. That includes the area around the castle, whether the Mistress would approve or not.

[Besides, all he's doing is making sketches and the like. He's not here to assassinate anyone and considering the high volume of assassins they really shouldn't bother sparing any time for him. It's not efficient, you see.]

If I spent all my time in the village doing nothing I think I'd lose my mind.

[He has a point. But also, stop having a point. It's rude.]

I should think the best way to "acclimate" to this environment would be to bank up a fire and work indoors for a while.

...Can I see? [The sketches.]

[But there's nothing Stanford Pines likes more than having a point!

Except maybe people looking at his art and telling him it's good. Which it is. He can draw damn-near photo-realistic when he tries. He turns the journal around and holds it out to her; it's on his notes about the castle and the guards, of course. There is a fairly in-depth screed about how impractical the guard outfits are. Because... look at them.]

Yes you may.

[Damn. Another point for Stanford Pines. Because, as someone who's constantly picking a leather thong out of her ass, Éowyn is remarkably well-placed to confirm that the outfits are indeed really goddamn impractical.]

[She scans the page quickly. His sketches are good, certainly, and his notes are...]

...Is that...?

[Did you seriously write down the guard rota in your weird spy-book, Pines?]

[IT'S RELEVANT INFORMATION! You can never have enough information on scheduling, alright? And he has friends in the castle that he might like to visit without getting yelled at.]

Is that what?

How long have you been watching the guards here? [Wow, that's a lot more hostile all of a sudden.]

[... Uh.]

Today, or in general?

[Open mouth, insert incredibly-muddy boot.]

[You know, as answers go, that's actually quite an informative one.]

[Which is not good for you, Ford. She closes his notebook, and reaches out to clasp his shoulder.]

Come with me. [That is not the tone of a request.]

[Haha okay. So. Ford Pines is not always the best at parsing tone, but he has definitely heard the words 'come with me' said with that particular air of threat before. What he can't instinctively intuit he knows via learned association. He may, in fact, be in trouble.]

I wasn't aware that taking notes was a punishable offense.

[Buddy maybe just

Maybe don't--]

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open!

hey bitch i bet you thought you'd seen the last of me

AW YISS

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