FREE ORGASMS!

[crimsonlight]

Who: Yenh and you!
What: Distributing special potions to warm up the winter (and generate interest in sales).
When: January
Where: Whenever, I'm not the spacetime police.
Warnings: Please see the subject line.

[With only a fluffy winter hood strapped to her head for any additional consideration for the weather, Yenh is hard at work. Balanced with a sling around her shoulders, she carries a tray full of slots for little vials—also containing rows of vials in different colors. The front of the tray has been painted in crude handwriting to say "FREE ORGASMS!"]

[Traveling through the streets and into the pubs and taverns around the Kingdom, Yenh begins her pitch.]

Warm up the natural way! Have an orgasm! No need to even disrobe!

[A villager comes up, curious, and asks after one.]

Certainly! From this batch, I've three options: external orgasm, internal orgasm, or nipple orgasm.

[The villager makes a choice, and downs it on the spot. Yenh leans forward slightly, watching as there is an expectant pause... and then the villager curls their hands up to their chest and issues out in a sharp yell, knees trembling as they sink and then lie prone. Her head tracks their descent. Satisfied that this person was not just having very poorly timed heart failure, she smiles.]

One sample per person—but larger batches can be brewed to order! [The villager didn't ask, as they're still in a state of semi-shock from just being walloped with an orgasm out of nowhere. But Yenh seems satisfied that she's made an impact without killing someone, and carries on with her little science experiment/community service project.]

Anyone else?

Comments

[meteorman]

[Ford has been spending a lot of his time in taverns lately. It's the warmest place available to him (his own tiny shack, while much more homey than it was when he moved in, still doesn't retain heat very well). It's also an excellent place to get business, because people who are already a little drunk are both more free with their coins and more interested in hand-drawn personalized pornography.

He's actually just on his way out when the door gets very much blocked by Yenh and the person lying prone at her feet. Which, hey, that's fine. He can do this instead today. He examines the tray of vials critically.]

I wonder how many of those one would have to drink at once before the physical strain became fatal.

[Priorities!]

[shieldofrohan]

[Éowyn is watching with a mixture of amusement and concern from the corner of the tavern. She moves to haul the villager to their feet, raising her eyebrows at Yenh.]

Really?

[ignisvulpes]

[Well, you don't see this at the tavern every day. Not spontaneously, at least.

Kaphlar gets up and eyes her merchandise with skepticism, which may be just about the most sincere way he's looked at anything Yenh has been involved with.]

What's the point?

[heiresy]

[He comes up in time to hear her varieties of orgasm. He automatically places a hand over his chest and mouths "Nipples?" at her. He pulls his bottom lip into his mouth.]

Say, how does that taste?