[OPEN]

[meteorman]

Who: Ford Pines and YOU
What: Trying to make an honest living selling porn, as one does
When: Now!
Where: The village market
Warnings: I mean things of a sexual nature obviously, and also talk of monsterfucking

Ford does not regret his decision not to sign up in service to the Mistress. Sure, it's made things a little more difficult, but it beats being under the thumb of a vindictive magical tyrant. Never again and all that. On the other hand it means money is harder to come by, and he's getting tired of paying for everything with blowjobs. Not that he's bad at blowjobs, but lockjaw is the worst fear of a man who likes to talk as much as Ford likes to talk.

To that end he's decided to make a little money the proper way, by making something with his own two hands and selling it. His skills and passions have always dovetailed in the creative, so he's made... a smut zine. Okay, grandpa, guess it's the seventies again. It's ten pages long and it's all porn (it's also certainly very fictional and not at all just a slightly-retooled account of one of the many times he's fucked a sentient but non-human being). It's written almost like a naturalist's account, complete with flowing cursive script and incredibly life-like illustrations, including a few full-page art pieces near the back detailing the biology of what for simplicity's sake one might describe as a harpy. In terms of percentages it is definitely about 80% avian. No hot human girls with wings stapled on here, no sir.

He has about thirty-two copies. It's a modest first run, but he had to duplicate them with a duplication charm he got off a magician (for a blowjob, of course) and so it had limited uses.

If you happen to walk up and investigate, he'll helpfully mention:

"If you like that, I also work on commission."

There is a stack of blank parchment next to him. He will straight up draw you porn if you pay him.

Comments

[ignisvulpes]

"Hmm..."

This potential customer here seems to be examining the zine with great scrutiny. This... harpy lady? He can't say she's exactly his type, but for better or for worse, he's at the point where his boner is willing to broaden its horizons. The prose, if that's the right word for it, certainly intrigues him in places where simple cloacas fail to do so.

"You're pretty good, old man. Got any more examples of your work?"

[heiresy]

"My, my," Aymeric couldn't help but pick up a leaflet, thumbing through it slowly. He looked to his left and right quickly, ensuring that no one he knew could see him.

"I haven't seen 'literature' like this since I was a lad in the barracks," he pulls his lip into his mouth, trying to play it cool. This was hardy the first drawn titty he'd seen, but boy. Still. Pornography was not exactly common for him.

Aymeric's eyes flick between him and the stack of parchment. He's a bit too shy to ask right off the bat about how he would go about asking for some elf porn, so he'll continue to look through the orthino-pornography. Pornthinography, if you will.

"Whilst I have no real attraction to monster women..." starts the man who routinely fucks a dragon-man, "Your artistry is really quite good."

[crimsonlight]

Ford's comment breaks Yenh from her reverie, engrossed in looking at the harpy's particulars. Her head snaps up, and her expression is one of mixed humor and uncertainty.

"Oh, no, I couldn't possibly afford something as exquisite as that. But this?" Yenh holds the zine up with both hands and wiggles it. "How much for this?"

slams in here a full week later

[moonshined]

[Remus has greatly appreciated being fully human again; not that it wasn't something of a trip to walk around on his little sheep hooves, but he kept getting his horns stuck on furniture and it generally wasn't a good time. Being human again means he's not stumbling about on sheep legs or getting too warm in the middle of the night or bleating at inappropriate times. It also means he can go out into the market again without getting a concerning amount of propositions.

He grins at the sight of a familiar face behind one of the stalls, and saunters up feeling only a tiny bit self-conscious about the fact that he has interacted with this man's genitals while they were both half-animal. Remus thumbs through one of the copies of Ford's zine.]

Never seen one quite so colorful before. You seem to know a great deal about, ah.

[How does one say 'monster porn' without sounding rude?

Nope, okay.]

Monster porn.